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I like to keep up on pop culture. So I noticed that Britney Spears was getting divorced a couple weeks ago.

Since I have some experience in the area of family law, I thought maybe Britney could use some advice, so here goes.

Her soon-to-be-former husband says he wants custody of their two kids. He probably wouldn't get custody because there's an allegation he had an affair with a porn star and he was always running off to Vegas to party with his friends. However, young Brit is presently losing the high ground in the custody battle war.

A couple surefire ways to not get custody if you're the mom: Do what Britney has been doing.

She's suddenly hooked up with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan out partying every night, all night. These two are famous. One is known for a raunchy tape of her having sex with her then-boyfriend which got released to the public and sold a few million dollars worth. The other is famous as an actress who's been chewed out by her producer boss for staying out all night drinking, and lately has shown up for AA meetings. In addition, both these young ladies have evidently convinced young mother Brit to give up wearing underwear.

It's OK if nobody notices. But when you're sliding out of the backseat of a car into a phalanx of paparazzi — snap snap, flash flash — and the fact you wear no underwear makes the papers, not good when you're before the judge later trying to make a case that you are a better parent than the husband who may have had a fling with a porn star.

Brit is young. We've all been young. She is getting divorced. That happens. She wants to keep the kids, evidently.

A little advice, Brit: Stay home. Wear underwear. Don't get your picture taken much at all. It will help when it's time to stand in front of the judge in divorce court.

When you're in that position, you need all the help you can get.

That's My Word.

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