'Top Model' and 'Survivor' Deliver the Inevitable

Some weeks, reality TV gives you things you’d never expected (a "top model" fainting, a former child star threatening suicide, most things Janice Dickinson, to name but a few). Other times, it delivers the inevitable.

This week, there was a decent amount of that inevitable stuff happening. Not only did “House of Carters” hammer home the message that multi-star producing families aren’t always hotbeds for mental health (especially when said families seem to be parent-less), but “America's Next Top Model” gave us ever-more-impossible-challenges for the girls, the familiar diva-victim rivalry (this time, Melrose makes Anchal feel bad for being the only girl there whose bones aren’t visible) and Tyra continues to punish Jaeda for once daring to admit that she was the prettiest girl at her school.

“Survivor” delivered the array of ever-more-beautiful specimens (it’s amazing what an inordinate amount of sun and starvation can do to a person’s physique), the token annoying tribemate (Cristina) and both nonsensical diatribe and inappropriate behavior from good-old Cao Boi.

And, it must be said, the evictees on both shows weren’t exactly people a gambler would have put money on.

Megg got ousted from “Model” for not managing to make her “bearded lady” photos hot — and while I can’t imagine that Angelina Jolie and Kate Moss’ love child (if such a thing were not a biological impossibility) could make that look good, I must admit that Megg never screamed model to me.

Then again, she was always screaming so much about her rocker chick-ness that it seemed to drown out all other thoughts, except the one that maybe she’d wandered onto the wrong set while looking for the “Rockstar: Supernova” sound stage.

Meanwhile, Stephannie got voted off of “Survivor” for, essentially, craving mashed potatoes a bit too vocally. But the fact of the matter is that she’d already made it all too clear that she’d be perfectly happy experiencing the Cook Islands from a comfy couch.

And if you think there’s nothing to the theory that having a ridiculously unnecessary letter in your name can get you voted off a show early, think again. Richard Hatch? Eva Pigford? Any other winner of either show? Not an extra letter in sight. Jaeda, consider yourself warned.

Anna David has been on staff at Premiere and Parenting magazines and wrote a sex and relationship column for Razor. She’s done celebrity cover stories, first-person essays and reported pieces for The L.A. Times, Vanity Fair, Cosmo, People, Us Weekly, Redbook, Self, Details, Stuff, TV Guide, Women’s Health, Ocean Drive, Vegas, The Saturday Telegraph, Esquire UK, Teen Vogue, Variety, The New York Post, LA Confidential, Distinction, Calabasas, Tatler (Hong Kong), King, Fade In, Emmy and Maxim, among others.

She’s the sex expert on G4’s Attack of the Show, appears regularly on Reality Remix (FOX's Reality Network) and the "Today" show and has also been on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period," "The Other Half," "Cold Pizza," "The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life," CNN, E!, and VH1. Her first novel, "Party Girl," is coming out in July 2007 from Regan Books (HarperCollins).