Michelle and Brian Watters are hoping you will judge their books by their covers … but maybe that's because the covers are all they're selling.

Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to the Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger … and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.

The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.

Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.

"These are great if your mother wants the latest Danielle Steele for Christmas. You put 'How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star' on the cover [of the actual Danielle Steele book]," said Helen Aikenhead, owner of Ottawa bookstore Three Wild Women. "And when she opens it up on Christmas morning, she doesn't know what your intentions are."

And if your mom would be less than impressed, Michelle Watters suggests using the titles to … um … clear the air, so to speak.

"If you want to sit by yourself, and you don't want anyone bothering you, "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection" will guarantee you a solo seat," she said.

The jackets are currently being sold in bookstores and boutiques in about a dozen countries for around $6.

We Built This City on Humorous PR Stunts

NEW YORK (New York Post) — Talk about torture — Blender magazine editors chose Starship's 1985 hit "We Built This City" as the worst song of all time.

Now they've assigned contributor Russ Heller to set a world record for repeatedly listening to the worst song ever.

He'll sit in a plexiglass booth at a Best Buy in Manhattan starting Friday at 8 a.m. and grit his teeth as "We Built This City" is played at least 324 times over a grueling 24 hours.

And Now This From the Maybe-Crime-Does-Pay Department:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — A man who couldn't find steady work came up with a plan to make it through the next few years until he could collect Social Security: He robbed a bank, then handed the money to a guard and waited for police.

On Wednesday, Timothy J. Bowers told a judge a three-year prison sentence would suit him, and the judge obliged.

"At my age, the jobs available to me are minimum-wage jobs. There is age discrimination out there," Bowers, who turns 63 in a few weeks, told Judge Angela White.

The judge told him: "It's unfortunate you feel this is the only way to deal with the situation."

Bowers said he had been able to find only odd jobs after the drug wholesaler he made deliveries for closed in 2003. He walked to a bank and handed a teller a note demanding cash in an envelope. The teller gave him four $20 bills and pushed a silent alarm.

Bowers handed the money to a security guard standing in the lobby and told him it was his day to be a hero.

He pleaded guilty to robbery, and a court-ordered psychological exam found him competent.

"It's a pretty sad story when someone feels that's their only alternative," said defense attorney Jeremy W. Dodgion, who described Bowers as "a charming old man."

Prosecutors had considered arguing against putting Bowers in prison at taxpayer expense, but they worried he would do something more reckless to be put behind bars.

"It's not the financial plan I would choose, but it's a financial plan," prosecutor Dan Cable said.

Confection Couture: Why Buy a Cake When You Can Be the Cake

UZHHOROD, Ukraine (AP) — Valentyn Shtefano's pastries were known for attracting stares, giggles and lip-smacking murmurs of "yum" in this western Ukrainian city. But even his bride-to-be was surprised when Shtefano told her he was making her wedding dress — out of flour, eggs, sugar and caramel.

The edible dress — made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighing in at 20 pounds (9 kilograms) — took the 28-year-old baker two months to make, and by the end of the wedding reception, bride Viktoriya didn't want to take it off, much less devour it.

"At first glance, it's really a surprise; I didn't even believe it was a cake," said Olha Nemyataya of Uzhhorod, who sampled some of Shtefano's new deserts at a pizzeria on a recent Friday night. "Nowhere in Uzhhorod have I seen things like this."

Shtefano's cakes are more art than dessert. Sure, some might be for a mature audience, like a pair of breasts on display at the pizzeria. But Shtefano also created an elaborate cake for Easter that drew hundreds to a local cathedral. It was a black and gold globe hatching from an Easter egg, with pieces of eggshell on top of the globe and falling off to the side. It was too pretty to eat.

The wedding dress cake presented the biggest challenge. At first, he tried sewing the empty cream puffs together, but the dress collapsed. Then, he bought a wedding dress frame and carefully attached the puffs. He made a separate top and bottom for the dress, and Viktoriya spent a couple hours each night before the wedding modeling the dress as Shtefano added more.

Finally, he painted a few rows of cream puffs white to add some color to the dress. Viktoriya's crown, bouquet and necklace all were made from caramelized sugar. Shtefano said the dress was a one-time thing and he'd never make another. He couldn't put a price on it.

Keeping the Bad Boys Off the Mean Streets, One Unlucky Dude at a Time

LA CROSSE, Wis. (AP) — A 60-year-old man visiting La Crosse to help his elderly mother spent 17 hours in jail this week after a background check during a routine traffic stop uncovered an arrest warrant for a 1984 ticket.

Michael L. Saxton of Phoenix, said he never knew about the citation for failure to display boat registration numbers that the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access Consolidated Court Automation Programs' Web site listed as having been issued against him in June 1984.

Saxton, a La Crosse native, was jailed from Monday until a Milwaukee County court commissioner reviewed the case Tuesday.

The Arizona man said he believes the citation was sent to him right after he moved to Seattle in mid-June 1984.

If he'd known about the ticket, Saxton said, he would have taken care of it before leaving the state.

La Crosse County Clerk of Courts Pam Radtke said it is common for people in the county not to show up for citations, and La Crosse County judges only issue arrest warrants for criminal offenses.

When someone in La Crosse County fails to make a court appearance on a citation, the judge normally finds them guilty by default, and a letter is sent ordering the person to pay the fine within 60 days.

"If they don't pay, we then do a warrant for failure to pay or we do a tax intercept or civil judgment," Radtke said.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

KETCHUM, Idaho (AP) — The sound of howling wolves prompted two U.S. Forest Service employees to call for a helicopter evacuation from the Sawtooth Wilderness late last month, officials said.

The employees — both from Utah — became frightened Sept. 23 after seeing wolves chasing a bull elk across the meadow and later hearing the animals howl, said Ed Waldapfel, a spokesman for the Sawtooth National Forest.

"A little while later they started hearing wolves howling all around them," Waldapfel told the Idaho Mountain Express. "They called on their radio or satellite phone and asked their supervisor if they could leave the area."

"No matter which way they went they said they could hear the wolves," he said. "They admitted they were very scared and wanted to get out of the area."

The wolves never made any aggressive moves toward the pair. There are no documented cases of wolves attacking humans in Idaho, though the employees may not have known that, Waldapfel said.

Steve Nadeau, wolf program supervisor with the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, was shocked that howling could prompt a helicopter evaluation.

"Holy moly — sounds to me like someone's read too many of Grimm's fairy tales," Nadeau said. "I'm flabbergasted that (the Forest Service) would go to that extent over wolves howling in the woods because wolves howl in the woods all the time. That's how they communicate."

Howling — especially in rocky, mountainous areas — can echo, said Lynne Stone, a Stanley resident who regularly observes backcountry wolf behavior.

"There are great wolf-howl acoustics. They probably weren't surrounded by wolves," Stone said. "I'd be more afraid of running into a moose cow with calves, or a black bear with cubs, than encountering howling wolves."

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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