If we can believe the polls, the Democrats have already one the election, which is 30-some days away.

It's the Foley thing with an overlay of the Hastert thing. Republicans are so mad they're voting for Dennis Kucinich, John Kerry, Jimmy Carter, Alec Baldwin, Michael Moore and they're running out to join the ACLU.

Since the Dems have already won, John Conyers is in charge of the House Judiciary Committee, and he's preparing the Bush impeachment papers.

Charlie Rangel is chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, and he's getting ready to reinstitute the draft. Not that he really wants it; he just knows a draft is the end of the war.

And even though Hastert is hanging on to the speaker's job, it already belongs to Nancy Pelosi and she's already announced her agenda for her first hundred hours.

She has announced she is going to "drain the Republican swamp."

Job one: She says she will break the link between lobbyists and legislation. Now what that means is that she will hammer out a new link between Democrats' big tent special interests — abortion groups and such — and legislation. Union fat cats are rubbing their chubby hands together and chanting Kumbaya with Al Gore.

Job two: enact all the recommendations of the 9/11 commission. It's a long list, but it sums up nicely as "blame Bush and Bush alone."

Job three: raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, immediately followed by a press release blaming greedy bosses for laying off workers they can't afford to pay.

Other worthy projects: stem cell research with federal funds. Make a bunch of human embryos, then kill 'em off for science on your tax dollar.

She didn't say anything about the war in Iraq. The reason is that Democrats don't really mind if Iraq remains a mess. They intend Iraq to be a Republican mess.

If Iraq goes really, really badly, they think they can blame Republicans for a generation or two and maybe replicate the California situation from coast to coast. California is a place where it's hard for any Republican to be elected unless he or she sounds like a Democrat. Just look at Arnold.

Democrats have an Iraq exit strategy alright. They want to leave and make sure the people who are left behind are Republicans. They can do their best with the insurgents, and with any luck they'll be buried there.

There ya have it. Michael Moore and Alec Baldwin will be back in the White House in a couple years. Party time.

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