Talon-ted Lady Grows 24-Foot Fingernails

Got an itch you just can't scratch? Maybe Lee Redmond can help … if the sight of her 24-foot, 7-inch fingernails doesn't send you running for the hills, that is.

Redmond is one of an eccentrically elite class of individuals who earned entry in the latest edition of the Guinness Book of World Records. And if you think she's the only one with a stomach-turning title to claim, think again. She is featured in the book's 2007 centerfold alongside eye poppers, skin stretchers and everything in between, Reuters reports.

But being freaky takes some serious effort.

This talon-ted lady says she started growing her nails 27 years ago, and she adheres to a serious regimen to keep them in prime condition that includes daily soaks in olive oil and nail hardener.

"I clean them with a toothbrush when they get dirty and always keep them manicured," she said.

But nail biters everywhere can rest easy — the lifespan of Redmond's freakish finger adornments is coming to a close.

"I am going to have to take them off in November as I am looking after my husband who is suffering from Alzheimer's," she explained.

And in case you were wondering — which we know you were — when asked how she's able to answer the call of nature, she answered:

"Very carefully."

And Now This From the It's-All-in-the-Family-Department

LIMA, Ohio (AP) — Leslie Deal and her brother Erin had bowled perfect games before, but not on the same night at the same bowling alley.

They both scored 300s in their final games within minutes of each other Tuesday.

"I was watching her and hoping she would hit all of them," said Erin Deal, 23. "Then once she got them all I had to get mine. I couldn't let her get all the glory."

It was the seventh time he's rolled a perfect game. Leslie Deal, 19, said she was calm until the end of her game — her third 300.

"I was shaking. I started crying when I shot my last one," she said.

Chris Sanford, who is in her league, watched it happen.

"I have been here for more than 30 years and I've never seen anything like this before," Sanford said.

When We Said Thou Shalt Not Mess With the Transportation Dept., We Meant It

NEW YORK (AP) — The city is showing no mercy to a priest who got a $115 ticket for parking in an ambulance zone while ministering to an ailing hospital patient.

Two months after ticketing the Rev. Cletus Forson of St. Andrew the Apostle Church in Brooklyn, the city has thrown out his appeal.

"It's just a disappointment," said Forson, who got hit with the ticket July 26 outside Maimonides Medical Center. "I was attending someone who was in a debilitated state who needed attention."

Though Appeals Board Judges Irwin Strum and Diane Pine wrote they "accept" Forson was filling a "religious obligation," they ruled he still broke the law by parking in an ambulance zone.

The silver lining is that readers who learned about the ticket from the Daily News, where the story first appeared, and from an Associated Press story mailed cards, letters and nearly $1,500.

"I was very surprised," Monsignor Guy Massie, pastor of St. Andrew's, said Wednesday. "People are responding to their own frustration with the Bureau of Traffic Violations."

Massie said he would donate the money to charity.

Because Nothing Says 'Go Navy' Like a Jolly Rancher-Related Head Injury

ANNAPOLIS, Md. (AP) — Officials and residents here have gone sour on candy.

They want to see an end to a decades-old tradition of football fans throwing candy to Naval Academy midshipmen while they march to Navy-Marine Corps Stadium on Saturdays.

Residents living near the stadium complain that the streets are littered with candy wrappers and covered with a slimy, squishy and nasty mess after football games.

"It would be all well and good, if we didn't have this litter," said Lisa O'Leary, who lives nearby.

O'Leary suggested a round of applause might be a better way to support the academy. "I just don't understand why we are throwing candy at adults," she said.

The Naval Academy also wants the tradition to stop, spokeswoman Deborah Goode said. While community support is appreciated, she said the academy is concerned about injuries and litter.

"This candy-throwing isn't a tradition, it's a bad habit," said Lawrence Heyworth III, vice president of communications for the Naval Academy Alumni Association.

I'm Not Dead Yet ... Really

(AP) — The man who co-wrote the song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" had the unsettling experience this week of reading his own obituary. That was the result of an impostor who went through life claiming to be the author of the 1960s smash hit.

The Associated Press reported on the death of a 68-year-old man named Paul Van Valkenburgh of Ormond Beach, Fla. Valkenburgh claimed to have written the song under the name Paul Vance. The story cited the man's wife as the source for that claim.

But the music industry's real Paul Vance is a 76-year-old man from Coral Springs — and he's very much alive and well. He says the other Paul Vance appears to have made the whole thing up.

The Paul Vance who wrote the songs provided proof he wrote the song with royalty payments he is still receiving for the hit. He says he has been inundated with calls from people who think he died.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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