This couple is a talk show host's dream.

A pair of lovebirds in Massachusetts had very little to coo about after the groom got arrested — twice — on their wedding day.

Police say Deric Gendron was nabbed in the parking lot of the Knights of Columbus hall in Southbridge — the site of his wedding reception — after reportedly trading blows with a guest he accused of groping his blushing bride and kicking one of the officers who arrived on the scene, The Boston Herald and UPI report.

Gendron was released on bond, but his brief foray into wedded bliss as a free man wouldn't last long. Cops re-arrested the angry groom after he phoned his bride demanding a divorce — a violation of the restraining order she took out on him after his arrest at the reception brawl.

Gendron was charged with assault and battery on a police officer, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, disturbing the peace and resisting arrest.

So much for happily ever after.

She Put the 'Mess' in Text Messaging

Here's one way to take the middleman out of the war on drugs.

A Broken Arrow, Okla., woman was busted with 13 grams of marijuana after a comically misdirected text message wound up in the hands of police, KTUL reports.

Cops say an officer was working a traffic shift when he got an unexpected text inviting him to get together for an illicit smoke-fest with an unknown sender who had just purchased a bunch of marijuana.

The cop replied and arranged to meet the sender at a local business.

When the woman arrived for the proposed pot party, she was instead arrested for possession.

Thanks to Out There readers Lance H. and James M.

No Garden Is Safe From the Pruning Prowess of the Flower Bandit

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — At least the flower filcher left a thank you note.

Jason Jasnos said he found the note in his garden Sunday, a day after he caught two women holding a bunch of posies taken from outside his 1880s-era home near downtown Des Moines.

"Thank you for the flowers," it read. "Many others will enjoy them."

The note was signed: "The flower bandit."

Jasnos said he asked around and found that other neighbors also have had flowers and plants stolen from their yards and porches.

"We've heard some stories of bizarre plant thefts," said Stephanie Bruner, vice president of the neighborhood association, who said she has had tulips taken from her yard.

And Now This From the Shameless Self Promotion Dept.:

ROCHESTER, Minn. (AP) — A City Council member and mayoral candidate admitted he has anonymously praised himself in comments posted on a newspaper's Web site.

The Post-Bulletin newsroom doesn't regularly check identities of online users, but a reporter noticed similarities in the way a user named "127179" writes and Pat Carr talks.

Some of the dozens of messages posted by "127179" since November found notes of praise for Carr, while some attacked officials who voted differently from him.

For example, in a comment posted Sunday that answered a critical comment from another reader, Carr wrote: "Pat Carr has done nothing but stand up for the silent majority." A comment posted Friday said: "People that run him down are special interest groups and insiders that Carr exposes."

Carr acknowledged Monday that he wrote all past comments except one, which he said was written by a friend visiting his office.

"If people want to trash me, I have the right to stand up and defend myself," he said. "I stand by what I said."

Managing Editor Jay Furst sent messages to Carr in April and July, warning him that if he continued to post self-congratulatory or misleading comments, the newspaper might choose to report on it.

Would You Like a Heaping Helping of Crazy With Those Os?

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Snap, Crackle and Pop have some competition in Columbus. The Ohio State Buckeyes have their own cereal.

Buckeye HerOes, the newest university-licensed food, will be available in grocery stores before the No. 1-ranked Ohio State football team opens its season Saturday against Northern Illinois at Ohio Stadium.

The box of honey-nut-flavored toasted oats features three mascots — former Buckeyes linebackers and current NFL rookies Bobby Carpenter, A.J. Hawk and Anthony Schlegel.

"We couldn't make them 'block Os,' so we made them Os," said Rick Van Brimmer, director of trademark and licensing services at Ohio State.

The cereal will cost $3.49 for a 14-ounce box at Kroger stores, which will have it stocked as early as Thursday, said Monica Gordon, spokeswoman for the Cincinnati-based grocery chain's Great Lakes division.

The cereal joins other Ohio State foods such as pasta, chips, salsa, hot dogs, mustard and hot sauces, as well as candy Buckeyes.

"People get excited when football season rolls around and look for unique items to enhance the parties they have," Gordon said.

If the cereal sells, Ohio State will have a box featuring another former Buckeyes star, probably in January, and boxes with other ex-Buckeyes perhaps twice a year after that, Van Brimmer said.

Other universities have had cereal promotions but none on the scale of Ohio State, which is starting with about 75,000 boxes, said Tom Schmieder, marketing vice president of Carrollton, Texas-based TK Legacy, which is making Buckeye HerOes.

"OSU's fandom is just a different breed," he said.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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