Behold, a recipe for disaster:
First, claim to be a terrorist mastermind hunted by armies and intelligence agencies the world over.
Next, select your weaponry — preferably a kitchen appliance. Season with a few minor traffic violations, a high-speed chase and a complimentary psychiatric evaluation and what do you have?
You have Tena Bergeno of Charleston, W.Va. But be careful — he's got a blender and he's not afraid to use it.
Maryland police say the trouble with Bergeno started Monday in Ocean City when he told a cop that he was, in fact, Usama bin Laden. The officer promptly had him evaluated at Atlantic General Hospital in Berlin, Md., from which he was eventually released, The Daily Times reports.
But the fun didn't stop there.
The cops caught up with Bergeno again Wednesday morning, when he began behaving erratically, jumped into a car and sped off when they tried to stop him.
Police report the suspect led them on a high-speed chase through town, running red lights and narrowly missing startled commuters. Bergeno's luck ran out when he plowed through three cars at an intersection, disabling his vehicle.
According to reports, he then brandished a blender — kryptonite to law enforcement, no doubt — to fend off the surrounding officers.
After disarming him of his margarita-making ammo, cops charged him with fleeing and eluding, hit-and-run, second-degree assault and minor traffic charges.
He was then taken to the hospital for further evaluation.
Public Toilets and Pleasure: Welcome to the New Malaysia
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — One poster reads, "Public Toilets — From Embarrassment to Pleasure." Another implores you to wash your hands, because germs die that way.
Hoping to herald a new "national restroom culture," Malaysia's National Toilet Expo and Forum opened Thursday at a shopping mall in the suburb of Subang Jaya outside of Kuala Lumpur, attracting curious shoppers to some 60 exhibition booths.
"I'm sorry to say it, but we Malaysians are not very hygienic when it comes to public toilets," said one visitor, Doreen Lee, 32, referring to how some users don't flush, or squat on toilet seats, leaving dirty shoe prints.
"This is a good way of creating awareness about how to behave," Lee said.
The organizers of the expo, Quality Restroom Association, said in a promotional brochure they were seeking to create a "national restroom culture" and educate the public about cleanliness.
Malaysia's Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak, who opened the event early Thursday, called for a "toilet revolution," the Bernama national news agency reported.
"Try to imagine dirty, nauseating toilets, likely the most negative image we can portray about ourselves to visitors and tourists," said Najib, according to Bernama. "That is why the government feels this must be a national effort."
Public toilets in Malaysia have long disgusted residents and tourists with their lack of basic items such as toilet paper, soap and sometimes even toilet seats. Many fall prey to vandals.
The Southeast Asian nation is trying hard to rid itself of this image, with the government considering fines for vendors with dirty washrooms. Shopping malls and other commercial establishments that do not have clean toilets may also not have their business licenses renewed.
Booths showed modern toilet stalls, model toilets, ceramic bathroom equipment and also products such as a dissolvable cube that can be placed in urinals to keep it clean and odor-free, without flushing.
Additionally, Kuala Lumpur city authorities announced on Wednesday it would be setting up 20 modern self-cleaning public toilets near popular shopping districts in the city, starting this month.
The air-conditioned units have an automatic seat cleaner that will wash, scrub and dry the pan after every use. The entire toilet will be cleaned in a similar manner after every five users.
And Now This From the You-Have-to-Be-Kidding-Me Dept.:
JEANNETTE, Pa. (AP) — Meow. A district judge has been asked to decide whether that word is a harmless taunt or grounds for misdemeanor harassment. Jeannette police charged a 14-year-old boy for "meowing" whenever he sees his neighbor, 78-year-old Alexandria Carasia.
The boy's family and Carasia do not get along. The boy's mother said the family got rid of their cat after Carasia complained to police that it used her flower garden as a litter box.
The boy testified Tuesday that he only meowed at the woman twice. Carasia testified, "Every time he sees me, he meows."
The boy's defense attorney, David Martin Jr., argued that the charge should be dismissed.
"This should never have been filed," Martin said. "This is not something that police should be wasting their time with or wasting the court's time."
Jeannette District Judge Joseph DeMarchis decided to wait 90 days before ruling. DeMarchis said his decision will be based on how the boy and his neighbor get along in the meantime.
Monster Weed Turns Out to Be ... Um ... Weed Indeed
PRESCOTT, Ariz. (AP) — A Yavapai County sheriff's deputy patrolling a senior housing development outside Prescott Wednesday spotted a 5-foot-tall marijuana plant growing between two residents' driveways.
Deputy Justin Dwyer got out, identified the plant and interviewed the residents, spokeswoman Susan Quayle said.
They told the deputy they thought the plant was "just an attractive weed, and they had been watering it because it looked so nice."
Quayle said it appeared the plant was growing wild and probably sprouted from a stray seed.
Dwyer told the homeowners he would have to confiscate it and asked them to call deputies if more were found.
It Was Just 2 Beers ... I Mean 3 Beers ... I Mean 40
JIM THORPE, Pa. (AP) — A man who showed up in court drunk to be sentenced for drunken driving told the judge he routinely drinks 12 beers a day "and then some."
Carbon County President Judge Roger Nanovic sentenced 25-year-old Joshua Beury yesterday to 30 days to six months in prison for contempt of court and the second-offense DUI charge.
Beury received a similar sentence on Monday for charges related to a November 6th crash which his blood-alcohol level registered 0.17, about twice the legal limit.
Beury told Nanovic he'd had two beers the night before the hearing, when his blood alcohol registered .20. He said he was on medication for bipolar disorder and other mental health issues.
Thanks to Out There reader Rick B.
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.
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