Sweet Revenge, Hapless Idiot Style

Sweet revenge never tasted so much like ... jail time.

I don't know about you, but if some wimpy guy in a homemade mask showed up on my porch trying to kick the door down clutching a BB gun in his sock-mittened hands, my first inclination would be to give him a Tootsie Pop, congratulate him on his creative costume and send him on his merry way.

Unfortunately for bumbling burglar Stephen Weidman of Palmetto, Fla., the men he mistakenly selected for a home-invasion stick-up seem to have been fresh out of candy … but they had a big old can of butt-whoopin' at the ready.

Looking to get back at his nemesis for an earlier robbery, Weidman went and bought himself a stocking cap at Sports Authority, cut a few holes in it so it would look like a ski mask, put some socks on his hands, grabbed his BB gun and set out for revenge, but his plans were thwarted when he mistakenly targeted the wrong house, The Sarasota Herald-Tribune reports.

According to police reports, when Weidman arrived at the house, he tried to kick the door in but couldn't.

Thinking he was an after-dark visitor, the men answered the door.

When Weidman rushed in brandishing a BB gun in his socked mitts, the burly burgled easily overtook him and pinned him down until cops arrived.

"He's lucky I didn't kill him," one of the men in the house, David Evans, said.

After complaining to police that the would-be victims had "just kicked his [butt]," Weidman apologized for the mix-up. He was taken into jail anyway.

"The guy apologized and all that — he kept saying he went to the wrong house," Evans said.

Warning: Humorous Language Barrier Ahead

Talk about getting lost in translation.

Welsh cyclists had to have been a little more than perplexed after a somewhat distressing translation mix-up on a road sign in the UK informed them that bladder disease had returned.

The temporary sign, placed near construction, politely informed English-speaking bike enthusiasts to dismount, but ominously — albeit without reason — warned the Welsh "Ilid y bledren dymchwelyd," icwales.co.uk reports.

"Roughly translated, 'llid y bledren dymchwelyd' means bladder disease has returned … But I have to stress that the order in which the words have been placed means the sentence makes no sense whatsoever," Owain Sgiv, an officer for the Welsh language campaign group Cymdeithas yr Iaith Gymraeg, said.

"It certainly does not mean anything like cyclists dismount," he added.

The department in charge of the placement of the sign has admitted a mistake was made and says it plans to replace it as soon as possible.

"This is a real peach. Road signs are mistranslated on an enormously regular basis, usually because people use online translators," Aran Jones of Welsh language group Cymuned, said.

"But we don't often get them quite as insane as this."

Um, Yeah ... He Was Just Here ... Must Have Left The Building

ATLANTA (AP) — A filmmaker is offering a $3 million reward for proof that Elvis is still alive.

Adam Muskiewicz is making a documentary called "The Truth About Elvis."

He wrote on his Web site, ElvisWanted.com, that he's spent two years interviewing 150 friends, conspiracy theorists and others, trying to find out what they know about Elvis' whereabouts.

"The Truth About Elvis" comes out next year, around the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death.

The Cuckoo Formerly Known as Kentuckyfriedcruelty.com

NORFOLK, Va. (AP) — Christopher Garnett has reclaimed his old name.

Garnett, an animal rights activist who gave up his given name to become "Kentucky fried cruelty.com," was one of three workers at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals who changed their names to PETA Web sites. Two have now returned to their given names.

"I think maybe its time had come and gone," said Karin Robertson, formerly known as "Goveg.com" until last month.

Robertson led the way, changing her name in March 2003 to get people focused on animal rights and vegetarianism.

Back then, she remembered thinking, "It will be just weird and quirky enough. It will be a lighthearted way to get the message out."

She got a driver's license with her new name on it and tucked her court papers in her wallet just in case.

It worked: Web traffic to the site shot up, as did requests for vegetarian starter kits.

Her success inspired others. Last fall, Garnett and Brandi Valladolid went to the courthouse and, with the stroke of a judge's pen, became "Kentucky fried cruelty.com" and "Ringling beats animals.com."

"The name said it all," Valladolid said. "It gave all the information people needed to know."

'To Help Save The Species' ... Who Hasn't Heard That One

THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — Single male (red hair, long arms, interests include hanging in trees and grooming) seeks female for long-distance relationship and possibility of meeting up in future to help save species.

Zookeepers in the Netherlands are planning to hook up Dutch and Indonesian orangutans over the Internet and believe the link could at some stage be used as an online dating service where apes could get to know one another and keepers could work out whether they would be compatible mates.

First things first: A romantic dinner for two.

"We are going to set up an Internet connection between Indonesia and Apeldoorn so that the apes can see each other and, by means of pressing a button, be able to give one another food, for example," said Anouk Ballot, a spokeswoman for the Apenheul ape park in the central Dutch city of Apeldoorn.

She said the chance of two orangutans actually mating as a result of the online interaction was small due to the problem of transporting them between the Netherlands and Indonesia. "But I wouldn't rule it out completely," she told The Associated Press.

Ballot said the primary aim of the computer link between Apenheul and an orangutan center on the Indonesian part of Borneo was to raise public awareness of the apes and their plight. Activists say that the spread of palm oil plantations, coupled with logging, especially on Malaysian and Indonesian territories on Borneo island, is threatening animals such as wild orangutans with extinction by chewing up their native jungle habitat.

Ballot said that, in the past, captive orangutans separated by a wall have communicated with one another via a mirror placed in front of the two enclosures. Using Web cams and computer screens is an extension of that, she said.

She stressed that only orangutans who show a natural interest and aptitude will take part. The Apenheul park has 13 orangutans among its collection of apes.

There is still work to be done to set up the Internet connection. "We need to find ape-proof cables and screens," Ballot said, adding that the zoo hopes to have the orangutans online by the end of this year or early 2007.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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