Are you the outdoorsy type who just can't be bothered to dress yourself before frolicking through nature's wonders?
Even more importantly, can you stomach the stomachs of the rest of the immodest masses with a hankering to … um … hang out at a disrobed destination?
Au natural aficionados, behold Bare Back Mountain.
Bare Back Mountain is a secluded resort in Idaho designed specifically for nudists — and it's about to celebrate its 25th anniversary, KTRV reports.
"People talk about having stress — this is the most stress-free place you could be," club member Terri Lawrence said.
And what might a bunch of nudies do to celebrate a special occasion? Have a very open house to recruit new members, naturally.
But not just anyone can jump on the bare-bottomed bandwagon — potential recruits are subjected to background checks for the members' safety.
"We always want members. We're always encouraging people to be here, and be a part of our group," Lawrence said.
Current Bare Backers seem confident their lifestyle will draw a crowd -- but that's the way they like it.
"There's a freedom about not wearing clothes," said Bare Back Club co-founder Betty Green.
Green and her husband Don — no spring chickens to the life without laundry — say they joined the ranks of the undressed after seeing a newspaper ad in the '70s.
"I seen an ad in the paper, and I answered that. And of course we ran nude on the farm anyway, so it was just natural," Don Green said.
But even though they know they might seem unconventional to most, the Bare Backers hope their open house will help to dispel a few myths about the perpetually unclothed.
"There's absolutely nothing weird that goes on here. We do exactly the same things that you do. When night comes you go to your camper, I go to my tent, people get in their cars and go home," Lawrence said. "We're not nuts. We're just very comfortable with ourselves and with each other."
And Now This From the Tell-It-Like-It-Is Department ...
BERKLEY, Mich. (AP) — The parking fine was $10. But the comment Robert Militzer added to the check could land him in jail for 30 days.
The computer programmer got the ticket May 29. When Militzer wrote the check to Berkley District Court, he scribbled on the memo line, "BULL (expletive) MONEY GRAB."
That got Militzer an in-person court appearance — on a contempt of court charge. He's scheduled to go before a judge Wednesday, accompanied by an American Civil Liberties Union attorney who will argue Militzer's remark is protected by the First Amendment.
Militzer, 38, was ticketed for parking in front of a friend's house overnight. He said he obeyed signs prohibiting parking between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. during previous visits, but the signs weren't there the morning he was cited.
"I thought they were gaming me, collecting fines without giving people a fair chance to avoid it," Militzer told The Detroit News. "If the sign had been there, I knew what the law was. I would take my lumps and move on."
Militzer said he realized the off-color notation "didn't solve anything." But, he added, "It let them know I felt they were being unfair."
Richard Eshman, Berkley's public safety director, said Militzer could have requested a hearing to argue against the ticket.
"There's an avenue for protesting that kind of thing," he said.
ACLU lawyer Elsa Shartsis said Militzer's "choice of words may not be the best, and it may offend some people, but it's not illegal."
We've Got Another Squirrel at Large — Get 'Em, Boys!
MELBOURNE, Fla. (AP) — A retired Kennedy Space Center mechanic doesn't own a pet dog. He doesn't have a pet squirrel, either. He just likes to feed the squirrels in his backyard.
Recently, however, Jack Garrison got warned of fines of almost $1,400 for a barking dog violation and four squirrel-related infractions: squirrel at large, squirrel on the beach, squirrel defecating or urinating on public or private property and squirrel disturbing the peace.
The charges are just plain nuts, according to Garrison, who notes that no one has a pet squirrel.
Now the city of Melbourne is admitting its mistake. Someone called to complain that Garrison was feeding the squirrels in his backyard and an automated computer program generated the responses which alleged Garrison engaged in illegal behavior with the squirrels and dog.
The county has issued Garrison an apology.
Thanks to Out There reader John W.
They Call Him 'The Fluffernator'
BOSTON (AP) — A Massachusetts lawmaker is trying to get himself out of a sticky situation by dropping his opposition to Marshmallow Fluff.
Sen. Jarrett Barrios' proposal to limit Fluff in schools sparked a widespread and impassioned defense of the marshmallow spread, a lunch box staple for generations of New England children.
The ban was panned on talk radio. One Massachusetts lawmaker even suggested making the Fluffernutter — a Fluff and peanut butter sandwich — the official state sandwich.
Barrios, a Democrat from Cambridge, thought he had a legitimate gripe after learning his third-grade son had been given a Fluffernutter sandwich as his school lunch. But his spokesman Colin Durrant, said Tuesday that Barrios had decided to abandon the proposed amendment to a school nutrition bill.
"It got to the point where the larger story overshadowed or obscured his original goal, which was to have a discussion about what is a healthy and nutritious meal for kids in school," Durrant said
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.
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