Dear Friends of "FOX & Friends,"
It was a harrowing morning behind the scenes on the "F&F" set. Let me start by saying I will never look at a regular contributor to our program the same way again — ever.
It was at the conclusion of our "A" block, where we chat about the news of the day. Martha MacCallum filled in today for E.D. and did a terrific job. Martha's hometown is where I live, and boy do I hear the juicy gossip about her —- but that's for another blog.
Anyway, we were in a commercial break, and I stood up to welcome NY Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. We shook hands and chatted a bit, and I absentmindedly grazed my nose with my fingernail. I guess, I accidentally whacked off a tiny microscopic member of the zit family.
Within five seconds, I felt my nose getting heavy. I rubbed my other hand on it, and it came back really bloody. And then I rubbed it again and it got redder, then redder and then it was a full-blown nose emergency.
I went into the greenroom where Alexis and Mavel, our makeup and hair magicians, did their best to stop the bleeding. Nothing. They slathered it with every ointment and antiseptic they had in their bags.
It was about time for me to be back on television, but as luck would have it, we went live to Baghdad for a live press briefing on the Zarqawi autopsy, so I was not needed on the set. However, as soon as the news conference was over I'd be needed back. But that wouldn't happen unless my nose stopped bleeding, and at that point, there was no stopping it.
Then my angel of mercy walked in the door, Dr. Manny Alvarez. He was scheduled to be on the air at that moment, but the autopsy briefing was bumping Dr. Manny's segment, so he had plenty of time to devote to my nosecone.
Somebody found some clotting spray, and Manny shot half a can over my nose. With the exception of the gusher, the rest of the spray immediately dried to a white dust and it looked like I would appear for the balance of the program in Kabuki makeup.
As I was looking in the mirror watching the good Dr. doctor me, I wondered how many patients this man has seen in his many years of practice and how many times in those many years has he tended to a man wearing pancake makeup, dripping blood on his Brooks Brothers suit from his contused nose?
Wait a minute, I'd be his first. I could be one of his first MEN because Dr. Manny is an OB-GYN!
Then Mavel burst into the room with a bag full of stuff from the drug store including a bottle of liquid bandage that glued my nose closed. Then Alexis used half a gallon of makeup to paint my face one color over the white powder, and I was back in the studio and ready to report live on the air.
We waited for the producer to give us the word that we'd be back live — normally we get the word through our earpieces, but at this time I got a note passed to me. I opened it up expecting to read that we'd be wrapping up the newser in a few minutes, but instead it was a completely different message. It was from Dr. Manny. It was his bill.
Have a great day. See you Tuesday morning.
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