Sure, she can act. But can she sing?
The answer: as well as Lindsay Lohan. With the Internet leak of Paris Hilton's first single, "Stars Are Blind," the socialite demonstrates that, with enough time, loads of cash and electronic vocal manipulation, anyone can be a pop star.
On the four-minute song, Hilton sings her qualifications to be somebody's girlfriend to a light reggae beat, her soft coo reminiscent of Gwen Stefani or Debbie Harry.
"Stars Are Blind" is a passably good song that avoids the current cookie-cutter pop formula by throwing in some mainstream reggae.
The lyrics, which she reportedly had a hand in writing (sure), are mostly puppy-love growls that will appeal to young teens.
Those older kids who know Hilton's history will have a rough time finding the honesty in lines like, "If you show me real love, I'll show you mine," and "I don't find too many guys who treat me the way you do ... other guys just want to take me for a ride."
To get Paris to sound like such an accomplished singer, her producers fattened up the skinny heiress' sound by layering her voice upon her voice -- several times. The echo effect is almost imperceptible, but it manages to erase any trace of thinness. It also erases any trace of identity.
Don't expect Hilton to tour with this tune or any of the other songs on her upcoming album, because this is a studio-magic CD -- where the knob-twisting production is so complicated that it would be nearly impossible to reproduce the sonics in a live performance.
Still, expect to see a lot of Miss Hilton on MTV this summer.