Grrr! David Blaine and Other Things We Shouldn't Care About

We're not quite going to hell in a hand basket, but we're not doing ourselves any favors either.

Seriously, should any of us care that illusionist David Blaine plans to stay underwater for a week?

First off, he's doing it with the help of "lifelines" that will bring him air and nutrients, so besides the spectacle of some dude hanging out in a fishbowl outside New York City's Lincoln Center, I'm not sure why I'm supposed to be impressed.

After the week is through, Blaine will remove the lifelines and will be shackled. Then he'll escape Houdini style in about nine minutes while holding his breath. Here, he will attempt to break the record for holding one's breath underwater, which was set at 8:58.

Again, I'm soooo impressed.

Blaine's previous stunt was in 2003, where he starved himself for 44 days. I cared even less about that. How is this entertainment or noteworthy?

Other things marketers and publicity mavens want us to care about...


Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a daughter. They named her Suri. Welcome to civilization. Congratulations. Now go make a movie because that is all we care about. I will go see "MI: 3." I won't be sending a onesie to your new daughter.

Ditto Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Interesting how with both couples, there's only one good actor, or box-office draw. As critic Kyle Smith of the New York Post put it, Tom Cruise is still "the best popcorn salesman in the country." Meanwhile, has Katie Holmes made a movie anybody cared about?

Brad Pitt is a marginal actor at best. Jolie has the acting chops in that relationship.

Idol Chatter

Once again, Paula Abdul's well being is called into question after several emotional outbursts on the show. This is the kind of stuff that is dominating the tabloids when it comes to the most-watched reality show of all time?

Please! Who cares? Just let the kids sing. And as much as I like Katharine McPhee's voice, there's something about her faux humility that I just can't vote for. The way she wince-smiles as if to say "Oh I don't deserve your support," comes across to me as, "Oh little people, you don't know how lucky you are. Love me? Of course you do, you're only human."

I'll take Chris Daughtry or Elliott Yamin any day of the week.

Barry Bonds' Home Run Chase

How anyone can take this home run chase seriously is beyond me. Barry Bonds has no credibility left in the game of baseball.

If you think about it, if Bonds did use steroids, he's most likely not on them now. And he's hitting home runs. So, I ask, did he ever need them in the first place? Even Jason Giambi seems to be hitting better than he was when he was on the juice.

What a bunch of idiots. In the end, it's just a game that grown men get paid way too much money to play.

Anna Nicole Smith

The law is the law. But when a young woman in the prime of her life marries an 89-year-old who happens also to be a billionaire, somebody has to reasonably believe that love is not the motivating factor here.

The former Playboy Playmate was married to Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall for 14 months.

Now that the Supreme Court has ruled in her favor, Smith is able to pursue the $88 million a California district judge awarded her in her legal battle against her late husband's son, E. Pierce Marshall.

You know what? The $88 million is just a sliver of what's in the pot. Marshall should just pay up and kick himself for not talking sense into his old man. And besides, since Marshall's money is mostly tied to oil, most of that $88 million is probably this quarter's windfall alone, that you and I paid for!

Things We Should Care About...

  • Using less gasoline. I bought a bike.

  • Seeking out the truth in our government. Pay attention to mid-term election campaigning and ask serious questions of your representatives. Demand real answers.

  • Our national consumer debt keeps getting bigger and bigger. Why do we need so much inconsequential stuff (and I'm just as guilty)?

  • Immigration ... do the thousands of illegal immigrants who took to the streets Monday really believe they deserve to be granted full citizen rights without due process? My mother immigrated to this country four decades ago. When I was a kid I used to marvel at her green card, and talk to her about being a legal alien. When my mom became a U.S. citizen, it was one of the proudest days of her life. As Americans, we should commend the hard work illegal aliens do in this country. But we also should demand that they follow the laws of the land.

  • Family. Raise your children to have integrity, so they don't end up plagiarists and liars and entitled crybabies whose self-esteem was granted to them by parental proxy, rather than earned with hard work and real achievement. The "everybody wins" mentality of parents and teachers and to some extent, the civil judicial system, is what's keeping this generation down.

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