Talk about a waste of money!

These days, it’s nothing new for someone to figuratively flush money down the pot. But when your pipes are actually clogged with thousands of dollars, eyebrows will rise.

Cops say an apparently confused retiree in Northern Germany sent $18,000 worth of marks swirling into sewer-ville because he thought the antiquated notes were worthless, the Associated Press reports.

After complaints about a blocked pipe, a cleaning company employee discovered a watery wad of money was the source of the blockage.

He removed the majority of the bundles, but when the water started flowing again, some bills were swept away. It seems the retiree had reported the plumbing problem earlier that day.

Investigators visited the bewildered bill-flusher and confirmed that he had, in fact, sent the money swooshing down the pipes himself.

Lucky for him, his flushing frenzy was halted by the clog, and he still had another $17,300 worth of the old money in his apartment. Ever since the Euro replaced 12 national currencies in Europe in 2002, people have been able to exchange the old dough at their central banks.

Cops escorted the relieved retiree to the bank, where he deposited his cash stash.

Thanks to Out There readers Shannon O. and Michelle F.

He 'Just Wanted to Drive Around for a While'

MODESTO, Calif. (AP) — An 8-year-old boy swiped his teacher's car keys and took her minivan for a joyride, cruising safely home and into the record books as the city's youngest auto thief, police said.

The third-grader told officers he "just wanted to drive around for a while" when he left the James Marshall School on Monday, officer Michael Amarillas said.

The diminutive driver snatched the keys from teacher Caren Brady's purse when she turned her back to the class. In order to operate the Dodge Caravan, he raised the driver's seat, lowered the steering wheel, adjusted the rearview mirror and turned off the radio.

"This is the smallest child you can ever imagine," said Brady, who noticed her vehicle missing a couple hours after school. "I don't think this kid is 4 feet tall. He's tiny; he's the tiniest kid in the class."

The boy, whose identity was not released, was suspended from school, Brady said. Nothing was damaged and no one was hurt and police said they wouldn't charge him with a crime.

A neighbor saw the boy driving and called police. Officers found the van parked in front of the house, which is less than a mile from the school. They lectured the boy after interviewing him.

"You can't do anything but laugh," said Brady, who spent 90 minutes Tuesday teaching other pupils about the consequences of choices they make. She said she wouldn't let the boy return to her class.

I Get Excited When I Find Quarters in My Laundry

GOLDENDALE, Wash. (AP) — Klickitat County sheriff's deputy Ed L. Gunnyon found a lot more than the standard Easter egg in his (laundry) basket.

While doing laundry on Sunday, the 38-year-old married father of four came across a $20 Millionaire scratch ticket he had almost forgotten buying and discovered he had won the $1 million top prize, good for $37,500 annually over the next 20 years after deductions for taxes.

"The bunny was good to us this year," Gunnyon said Tuesday, revealing his good fortune at a news conference in Yakima.

State lottery officials said Gunnyon is the first $1 million winner in the scratch ticket game. Four more are expected.

Gunnyon said he and his wife plan to get a new car and save some of the money as a nest egg for retirement and their children's college education.

When You Wear a Chicken Suit, People Take You Seriously

KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) — Some of this island city's most beloved residents are facing eviction. Key West's city commissioners approved a resolution Tuesday for the removal of free-roaming chickens from city streets and parks and from private property upon request.

The measure doesn't spell out where the chickens will be taken after they're caught; the commission deleted a reference to "aggressive action." But Commissioner Bill Verge said its necessary to remove what he sees as a potential host for diseases and what others simply call a nuisance.

There are roughly 2,000 to 3,000 chickens living in Key West — a city of fewer than 25,000 year-round human residents.

The sight of the birds ambling down Key West's old streets have been common for decades, and their presence is embraced by many residents. The birds join tourists on walks down Duval Street and stop traffic as they cross busy Truman Ave.

Two years ago, the city hired a chicken catcher, but people began freeing birds from their traps and destroying the catcher's equipment. The chicken catcher and the city eventually parted ways after he had collected about 500 birds.

At the meeting Tuesday, Key West Chicken Store owner Katha Sheehan and other residents wore chicken attire and spoke in support of the chickens.

"The roosters are part of the character," Commissioner Jose Menendez said. "I am here to defend the chickens."

Even Fans Scored Big at This Mavs Game

DALLAS (AP) — American Airlines took a page out of Oprah Winfrey's playbook Wednesday night, giving vouchers for free flights to everyone at the Dallas Mavericks' final game of the regular season.

Fans jumped to their feet and cheered when Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and American executive Dan Garton announced the giveaway to an estimated 19,000 fans between the first and second quarters.

If every fan at the game, plus 1,000 watching at home redeem their vouchers, they could have a face value of more than $3 million, based on the average $79 one-way fare on American's Love Field service.

But Garton, American's executive vice president of marketing, said the cost would be much less, partly because not everyone will use the vouchers. He also said some people with vouchers will bring along a paying companion.

"It's a big promotion for us," Garton said. "It's worth a lot if we get 20,000 people to fly on those flights."

Cuban was asked how the giveaway by American compared to Winfrey's gift of automobiles to the studio audience at one of her shows.

"How many did she give away?" he asked. "This is 20,000 people."

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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