I Think I'm Gonna Call in Dead

Everybody’s had days when they felt bad enough to call in sick to work.

Then there’s the crowd — and you know who you are — who are prone to call in with so much as a hangnail.

But a particularly devious Iowa couple took it one step further. Since they couldn’t necessarily call themselves in dead, they killed their “son” instead.

The fictional fiasco started in December, when James Snyder and Mary Jo Jensen began telling their employer that their son was very ill and they couldn’t come to work, the Associated Press reports. But they technically didn’t even have a son.

Snyder, Jensen’s boyfriend, claimed that Jensen’s kid from a previous relationship was actually his own, so when the sort-of-son fell ill, the pair had to skip out on work to tend to him together.

But like any good soap-opera plot, this screwball scheme snowballed.

Police say the pair told their employer that the boy, after struggling on life support, died at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., so they submitted an obituary to the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier to back their story up.

Only problem was, the kid was spotted chowing down at an area restaurant after his obituary ran — looking pretty good for a dead guy.

Police caught on, and Snyder was charged with tampering with records. Jensen was charged with being an accessory after the fact.

Records show the son told police about the pair’s plan.

Thanks to Out There readers Tiffany V., Michael W. and Monique D.

And You Thought Your Phone Bill Was Scary

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he received a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.

Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the $23 bill, the New Straits Times reported.

But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a $218 trillion bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.

It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after his death.

"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.

Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.

Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd is the country's largest telecommunications company.

A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.

Thanks to Out There readers Nilesh P., Shannon O. and Melissa P.

Finally, a Drink for the Blue-Blooded Boozehound

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) — As if custom-made hats, premium box seats and limo rides weren't enough, the Kentucky Derby will now feature the $1,000 mint julep.

Sip this drink slowly.

The sweet cocktail will be made with one of the state's finest bourbons and served in a gold-plated cup with a silver straw to the first 50 people willing to put down the cash at the May 6 race.

Mint from Morocco, ice from the Arctic Circle and sugar from the South Pacific will put this mint julep in a class of its own, the distillery selling the drink said.

"We thought we would reflect on and complement the international nature of the Kentucky Derby," said Chris Morris, master distiller for Woodford Reserve. The distillery, owned by Louisville-based Brown-Forman Corp., will sell the drink only on race day to raise money for a charity for retired race horses.

The company already sells about 90,000 mint juleps at the Derby each year but hopes what's being dubbed the "ultimate" mint julep will catch on. Those who buy the $1,000 cocktail will get to watch Morris and others make it.

"People want a memory," said Wayne Rose, Woodford Reserve's brand director. "This is something they can take home and share with friends."

Mint juleps have been synonymous with the Kentucky Derby for decades. They are often served in silver or pewter cups and are meant to be sipped and savored.

"I think there will be enough people with enough money at the Kentucky Derby that will go for that sort of thing," said Regan, author of "The Joy of Mixology."

Churchill Downs will funnel money from the pricey juleps to the New Jersey-based Thoroughbred Retirement Foundation, a nonprofit organization that provides homes for the former race horses.

Go, Granny! Go, Granny! Go-Granny-Go!

LOS ANGELES (AP) — An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.

She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.

"I think it's completely outrageous," said Coyle, who described herself as a Cherokee medicine woman. "He treated me like a 6-year-old, like I don't know what I'm doing."

Los Angeles police Sgt. Mike Zaboski of the Valley Traffic Division said police are cracking down on people who improperly cross streets because pedestrian accidents are above normal. He said he could not comment on Coyle's ticket other than to say that it is her word against that of the citing officer, identified only as Officer Kelly.

"I'd rather not have angry pedestrians," Zaboski said. "But I'd rather have them be alive."

Others, however, supported Coyle's contention that the light in question doesn't give people enough time to cross the busy, five-lane boulevard.

"I can go halfway, then the light changes," said Edith Krause, 78, who uses an electric cart because she has difficulty walking.

On Friday, the light changed too quickly even for high school students to make it across without running. It went from green to red in 20 seconds.

Councilwoman Wendy Greuel said she has asked transportation officials to figure out how to accommodate elderly people.

"We should look at those areas with predominantly seniors and accommodate their needs in intersections" she said.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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