Dear friends of "FOX & Friends,"
Welcome to another week of cable casting. And let me start with a big "Thank you" to the many Americans who wake up with us each and every day. Thanks to you, we are America's No. 1 cable morning news show. At this rate I'll be able to keep this job and that means in two months I'll have enough money saved up and I'll be able to give up my paper route. The Sunday paper is a widow maker. So thanks!
Our Monday e-mails fell generally in two categories: 1) Immigration and 2) Alisyn Camerota in the "Sphere of Death."
On topic No. 1, we've known that you are intensely interested in doing something about illegal immigration. We are a nation of immigrants. My father's family came from Ireland and registered at Ellis Island on October 12, 1910. My mother's family came from Sweden and registered at IKEA.
We want to be a welcoming country, but we are a nation of laws. So to get into this crazy club we call America, you've got to do it by the books. Unfortunately there are 12 million people in this country illegally, so something has to be done about them. There are all sorts of plans floating around Capitol Hill. Some suggest fines and application fees, which sound like amnesty. Others want them to go home and file a form and apply that way. Both are fraught with loopholes and requirements that illegals surely will giggle at. Somebody needs to figure out what to do and then the federal government needs to enforce the laws. We already have plenty of laws on the books that would have kept the illegal population from rising to 12 million. But, just as it's hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube, it's impossible to get the illegals back into their tunnels to go home. After all, if their homeland was terrific, they would not have come here.
Topic No. 2, Alisyn at the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. She made it clear from the get-go, that her hosting duties at "FOX & Friends" has prepared her perfectly for life at the circus. And, from what we saw, she was correct. We saw her with the elephants, the clowns and on the trapeze. Then she did what no squeamish television personality (Brian) would agree to and stood inside a 15-foot diameter steel ball, while THREE screaming motorcycles zoomed around her at 35 mph. Just to show how scary it was, she had an "Alisyn-cam" that showed exactly what she saw INSIDE the Sphere. It has absolutely hair-raising. Luckily, Alisyn had half a can of Aqua Net in her hair and it didn't budge.
Our e-mailers were all supportive of her courage, but they also pointed out an important point. Here's a sample:
Why do the motorcycle drivers wear the helmets and protective gear if they never crash and Alisyn did not?
Great point. If they never crash and they never fall, why the helmets? Why the padded jumpsuits? Because it is dangerous. You never know when a lion from the lion tamer act is going to break loose and knock a motorcyclist over into Alisyn, sending her to the Hospital for Network Circus Reporters. Luckily, once again, she did have protection: Aqua Net — it's hard as a rock. Had a guy on the bike hit her hair, he could have lost a rim.
America is indeed the land of the free (immigration topic) and the home of the brave (Alisyn). Thanks for the e-mail and the support. We'll see you in the morning.
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