Batman has returned to Gotham — well, one of the Batmen at least — but it's just his head.
Images of Val Kilmer's smiling yet inexplicably disembodied head are being posted on buildings and doorways in downtown New York City, but no one knows why.
The smiling Vals usually appear as a series of five or six black and white pictures punctuated by spray-painted scrawls that say only “Val Kilmer,” The New York Post reports.
When the Vals first popped up, conspiracy theorists (who are in no short supply in New York) immediately began guessing who the perpetrator of the postings might be — and why in the world they would do it. Some suggested a corporate marketing ploy, others an obscure band trying to get its name out.
Some were certain that it was the actor himself trying to get back into the spotlight.
"Val is against the defacement of any public property," said his publicist Michael Yanni, adding that while Kilmer won't comment directly on the peculiar postings, he is aware of them and "definitely intrigued. He is wondering about the why and who of it all."
Stranger still, this is not a new phenomenon — an artist named Shepard Fairey festooned major cities with the face of Andre the Giant in the '90s.
"When something that's utterly meaningless — be it Andre or Val Kilmer — gets people interested, that's what's fascinating," Fairey says. "It seems to be this Dada-esque street art with no agenda. Or maybe it's just someone who thinks Val Kilmer's cool because he's so passé.”
Jesus Is Coming Soon? I'm a Goner
There are three things you never want to hear when lying in a hospital bed:
"Oops, I seem to have misplaced my scalpel in your abdominal cavity!"
"I'm actually not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
"Jesus is coming soon."
But patients at a hospital in Stockholm were at risk of hearing at least one of those things until bosses suggested a nurse named Jesus go by another name at work, The Local: Sweden's News in English reports.
Jesus, an auxiliary nurse, isn't bothered by his superiors' request.
He plans to go by his middle name, Manuel.
"If they thought that Jesus was coming they might believe that they were already dead," Jesus said. "I understand why they wanted me to use my middle name ... but my name never usually causes me problems."
Arthur Winston Makes You Look Lazy
LOS ANGELES (AP) — After more than three-quarters of a century working for public transit agencies, a bus maintenance worker will retire on his 100th birthday.
For decades, Arthur Winston reported to work at a bus yard at the crack of dawn. By 6 a.m. he would be supervising a crew of workers as they cleaned and refueled the region's bus fleet.
But recently Winston abandoned his routine and put on a suit, tie and black fedora and headed downtown to meet the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors. There, he was lauded for his nearly perfect work record and decades of service with what is currently called the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.
"I'm kind of nervous about leaving the job, I've been doing it for so long," Winston told The Associated Press. "I'm going to miss my crew. But I'll find plenty of things to do with my free time."
Winston has missed only one day of work in his entire career, transit officials say. That was in 1988, when his wife of 65 years died.
"He has an impeccable safety record, he never calls in sick, he's always on time, he's Mr. Reliable," said Alex DiNuzzo, Winston's manager of seven years.
Winston credited his father for teaching him a strong work ethic.
"My dad got us out of bed whether it was raining or snowing. We got up at 6 o'clock, no matter what," he said.
He said he could have retired when he was in his 70s, but he wanted to continue working to support family members who were struggling financially or pursuing college degrees.
He said he plans to keep busy in his retirement by doing charity work and taking advantage of his free bus pass to explore the city.
"I'll be on the move. I'm not going to sit and mope in the house," he said.
Maybe Crime Does Pay, But It Always Wants Its Money Back
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — The state Corrections Department put a former minor league baseball player on the payroll in a no-show job so that he could help prison guards win a softball tournament, investigators say.
The ringer, Mark Guerra, 34, agreed to repay $1,400 and complete 50 hours of community service, state Attorney General Charlie Crist said Wednesday.
Guerra was charged with accepting paychecks for work never done at a prison library. Investigators said he accepted the money to play on the winning team in a tournament held last May by Corrections Secretary Jim Crosby.
Crosby was fired by Gov. Jeb Bush last month.
"It is disturbing that a state agency would place so much importance on a team sport that it would stoop to committing crimes," Crist said.
This Is Your Brain On Drugs
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed Tampa officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure.
Turned out Williams, 47, was getting the real thing, and he was arrested shortly after approaching the officers Tuesday morning.
Officers Wayne Easley and Gary Filippone were investigating a burglary and trying to catch loose dogs when Williams walked up, crack pipe in hand, and asked them to verify that he was getting real drugs, a report said.
When Williams grabbed Easley's police vest, the officers put him in handcuffs, the report said. He was arrested after the residue in his pipe tested positive for crack cocaine.
Williams is listed in jail records as a security worker at MacDill Air Force Base. He is charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia. He was still in jail Wednesday with bail set at $2,500. Jail records had no attorney information.
Thanks to Out There readers Laura K., Jim D., Mike B. and Norman H.
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.
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