Don't Blame Me, It Was the Chair

This teacher's chair was a gas, but she wasn't amused.

Sue Storer, a teacher at a secondary school in the U.K., is suing for constructive dismissal and sex discrimination, saying she was forced to sit in a chair that made flatulent noises when she moved while her male colleagues were sitting pretty in chairs that could control themselves, Sky News reports.

"It was very embarrassing to sit on," she said.

Storer said she was constantly forced to apologize to children, parents and co-workers about the unladylike sounds emanating from her chair, but the school wouldn't replace the flatulent furniture.

She claims the school's refusal to replace her chair while providing some men with silent seats is indicative of the sexist behavior that undermined her position at work.

"I asked for a chair that didn't make these very embarrassing farting sounds," Storer said.

Storer is asking for $1,746,519.24 in damages.

She quit her job last year.

Thanks to Out There readers J. Williams and Sipke H.

Holy Man Gets His Guinness On

It's common knowledge that a good number of people will go out of their way — hysterically even — to avoid needles.

Then again, a good number of people are not Matt Robison of Ottawa.

What makes him so special?

He's full of holes.

Whereas many might choose to spend Saturdays lying around in various stages of sloth, Robison chose to spend his Saturday piercing himself over 1,000 times in one sitting — at the grueling pace of 70 piercings an hour, The Peoria Journal Star reports.

Perhaps the world's most motivated pin cushion, Robison joined the hallowed ranks of the Guinness World Record Holders when he punctured himself 1,015 times in 14 hours.

"I'm just relieved it's done," Robison said.

After completing his flesh-altering feat, he took all but 26 of the body baubles out, which he said was just as painful as putting them in.

But Robison says all the hole-punching pain wasn't inflicted in vain.

"I feel like I've done something memorable with my life," Robison said. "At our 10-year class reunion, we can say we've got a world record in our name."

He Caught You a Delicious Bass

CARLSBAD, Calif. (AP) — A Southern California man has a fish tale which, if true, could give him one of angling's most cherished records.

Mac Weakley said he caught a 25.1-pound largemouth bass on Monday at Dixon Lake in San Diego County.

After weighing it on a handheld digital scale, he released it.

Weakley plans to pursue the record, even though the fish was foul-hooked, meaning the hook lodged in the fish's body, not its mouth. He said it wasn't snagged intentionally.

Jason Schratwieser of the International Game Fish Association said the group would consider the fish as a world record.

The biggest bass on record weighed 22 pounds, 4 ounces. It was caught in 1932 by George W. Perry at Georgia's Montgomery Lake.

Fishnet Hose Snags Robber in Drag

MONTEREY, Calif. (AP) — A man's pantyhose led to his arrest, authorities said. An unshaven man wearing a black evening gown, fishnet stockings, calf-high boots and a black wig robbed a USA Gas station Monday morning, authorities alleged.

The armed man stuffed $290 in cash into an ensemble-matching black purse.

"I've been with the department for 22 years, and this is the first time I've heard of this happening anywhere here," police Lt. Phil Penko said.

About 35 minutes after the robbery, police Officer Chad Ventimiglia spotted a black Saab with fishnet pantyhose hanging from the front driver's side door, dragging on the ground, investigators said.

The car was pulled over and Michael Leslie Clouse, 26, was arrested and booked for investigation of armed robbery.

A plastic replica handgun was allegedly found inside his purse, Penko said.

Thanks to Out There reader Jerry D.

Mermaids Are So High Maintenance

HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP) — A bogus traditional healer who persuaded a businesswoman to hire "mermaids" and accommodate them in a Harare hotel to help find a stolen car was convicted of theft by false pretenses, court officials said Tuesday.

Harare magistrate Sandra Nhau found Edina Chizema guilty of swindling a businesswoman of her savings with promises that mermaids would help recover the luxury car in 2004 and solve the businesswoman's unspecified "personal problems."

In Zimbabwe, where tribal superstition is deeply entrenched, prosecutors said Chizema persuaded Margaret Mapfumo to pay 200 million Zimbabwe dollars (about $30,000) to hire mermaids, feed and accommodate them in a Harare hotel, buy power generators for a floodlit lakeside ceremony and invoke ancestral spirits to find the missing car.

Some of the money was to be used to buy a bull whose genitals — described in court as the animal's "strong part" — would point out the car thief, prosecutors said.

At a hearing Monday, the magistrate said Chizema, who had pleaded not guilty and claimed to be a spirit medium, was not a credible witness and the "idiosyncrasies" of her plea were not recognized in law.

Chizema will be sentenced to imprisonment or a fine at a sentencing hearing later, the court officials said.

In Zimbabwe, prominent figures and even leading politicians have often been the victims of such scams.

Compiled by's Taylor Timmins.

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