Your Grrrs...

Brian H. in Kansas City, Mo.: I always thought that you were really down to earth, but your name-dropping just shows what a pompous jerk that you are. Grrr! Oh wait, you were kidding ... you are pretty cool after all. Grrr retracted.

Aaron P. writes: I am hurt Mike ... my feelings have been shredded to pieces. I thought I was cool until you had to go and tell me on a national level that I don't hold a candle to you on the coolness scale ... I think I might curl up and cry now, or maybe defect to CNN ... just teasing, I enjoy your column and time my Tuesdays and Thursdays to read it as soon as possible (Monday nights when I catch it early enough!) Thank you for your humor, keep it up.

Keith W. (Critic-at-Arms) writes: Gee, Mike, I know exactly how you feel. I've also had days where my column deadline has arrived but the column hasn't, so it's time for the old standby quick-throw-something-together stream of consciousness into the keyboard. But really, celebrities? I thought you had your standards.

Terri T. in cyberspace: Tom Cruise should consider himself lucky to see his name in any column. Given his past year with the couch Olympics and newfound doctorate in psychiatry, he has been a very busy person. I admit that early in his career I actually enjoyed his movies. He has become an obnoxious loudmouth who seems to think he is the next Laurence Olivier. Fat chance there, Tom ... stick to your B-movies, that's where you'll keep making your money.

Damon in cyberspace writes on Lefave: This has got to be a joke. How is it possible that this woman gets the charges against her dropped for having sex with her 14-year-old student? I smell a double standard in the court system. If this had been a male teacher having sex with an underage girl, he would have gone straight to prison and been labeled a child molester for the rest of his life. Yet, Lafave gets a "slap on the wrist" and house arrest and is elevated to virtual celebrity status? I wonder how many talk show and book deals she'll get. Grrr!

Megan J. writes: Grrr to the Oblivions who feel the need to leave their coffee cups (usually half-full), half eaten hot-dogs, candy bar wrappers, chewed-up gum and other disgusting trash on the shelves of the retail store where I work and everywhere else. Other people shop there, not just you, and we're already understaffed and overpaid. I find it interesting, too, that most of the cups come from $tarbuck$, which we don't even have in our shopping complex. Stop the indoor littering already.

Mike on Long Island, N.Y.: Although Sean Penn should shut the heck up about his political views, ragging on the Bush administration is not at all the same as being anti-American. A Grrr also to anyone who sees things only as Republican vs. Democrat or conservative vs. liberal. There is a wide tract of people in the middle of them both, which makes more sense than either "side."

Barb in cyberspace writes: Keep the cell phone Obliviots off the planes. The FAA and airlines may soon allow the use of cell phones during flights. I think the powers that be need to look at security issues other than possible electronic interference. I think they need to consider protecting the passengers from each other. One can only imagine the horror stories that will become all too familiar when we throw cell phone Obliviots into the mix of what is fast becoming the sardine can method of travel.

Elle in Studio City, Calif.: To KC in Oceanside on female underwear manufacturers: FYI: There is one brand of very comfortable underwear made by HUE that prints the label on the fabric, so no need to remove any tags or worry about tearing, and you can actually read the print.

Kendra in response to last column's "crotchless" Grrr Priceless. Absolutely one of the best Grrrs I've ever read. And so true, too. Maybe these crotchless denim underwear wearing prostitots congregate a lot at rodeos, but let me assure you that they socialize just about everywhere. I wince when I see these beautiful young girls (and all children are beautiful by the way) strutting around, barely clothed enough to pass the "no shoes, no shirt -- no service" rule. As the mom of a precious little girl, I know in my heart that I will teach her to have respect for herself and her body. Woman look around today and are so proud of how far we've come in a male-dominated society, but what kind of message do these prostitots send? That it's OK to turn women into objects -- one of many issues women have struggled to overcome about their gender. It's just so sad and very, very worrisome, especially when you're a parent. In today's day and age, who needs one more worry about their child in addition to drug/alcohol abuse, child molesters and other such horrifying things? Aren't worries about whether they're healthy and well-loved enough?

BB in Tennessee writes: Mike, think you should carry around a card with the URL to the GRRR column on it. When you run into an Obliviot or the parent of a prostitot, or a Wal-Martian, or whomever, and you think you will write about them, hand them a Grrr card and tell them you are about to make them famous and they can read about it live on the Web. That would help solve the Obliviot problem and it would also be very, very fun.

Mike in cyberspace: I am so tired of big-name baby athletes with egos the size of Texas. Alfonso Soriano refuses to play because they want him to play outfield? How many millions does he make? Here's a news flash, Alfonso: I am a die-hard Yankees fan, so I remember your days in the Bronx. You ain't a good enough second baseman to refuse to play the outfield. You aren't even marginal. You are probably one of the worst fielding starting second basemen in the American League. You have no right to demand an entitlement to play second base. Act like a man and earn your paycheck.

Jason W. writes: I've noticed in your most recent Grrr column you posted an e-mail from a man who used the term prostitot I would like to inform the man that the word was created by me approximately seven years ago, when I saw a 13-year-old girl wearing less clothes than the hookers down the road. Please inform him that it is my intellectual property and I demand payment...

Respond to Mike | Grrr! Lexicon

VIDEO: Watch Mike's "Real Deal" Web cast.