'Prison Expressions' Makes Cards for Cons

Dear Felon: Sorry you’re in the can, man!

Thanks to the pioneering efforts of Brenda Guiden, America will never again be faced with the distressing dilemma of not finding that perfect “Hallmark” moment for their loved ones … who happen to be spending the holidays in the Big House.

After failing to find a card with a message that really hit home for her brothers in prison, Guiden started her own greeting card company, Prison Expressions, specializing in little somethings for prisoners and their friends and family.

Guiden, who has “two brothers, a nephew, an ex-brother-in-law and a friend” in the clink, says sales are … uh … boosted mostly by word of mouth and fliers she distributes.

For the jailbird in your life with a sense of humor, Prison Expressions offers greetings to tickle even the most hardened of funny bones, such as “Where’s the money?”

Other cards offer messages on the serious side: "You know the choice you made when you were out. You know that it did not only hurt you, but it hurt us too. However, we still love you. Love always, Family."

And what if it's your mom in prison? Fear not.

Prison Expressions’ business manager, Leo Johnson, says they are working on new designs right now and hope to have them ready to go by Mother’s Day.

Bachelor Butterfly Seeks Mail-Order Bride

Awww! It’s just like "Sleepless in Seattle" … if by “Seattle” one means “Anaconda, Montana” and if Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan were bugs!

Butterfly Bob, a charming swallowtail, has made a home at a Montana bank and seems to be looking for love in all the wrong places. But luckily he’s got matchmakers working overtime to find him a lady-friend, The Montana Standard reports.

Bank tellers who care for him were hoping to find a mail-order bride for Bob, a distinguished fellow who has long outlived his two-week life expectancy, but they were thwarted by immigration issues -- the betrothed couldn’t be shipped across state lines without an agriculture permit.

Lucky for Bob, he’s getting the celebrity treatment while he’s awaiting his bride -- he spends the day sunning himself in the drive-through window and dining on warmed sugar water in his nesting box.

His caretakers even ordered him a harem.

Krystie Schiele, a teller at the bank, had some swanky new digs and twelve Painted Lady butterfly caterpillars shipped to the bank to keep Bob company while they search for a suitable sweetheart.

Until they find his one and only, tellers hope Bob will hang in there.

“He hasn’t flown for three weeks now,” said Schiele, who visits the bank on Sundays to feed her fluttery friend. “We really have to care for him.” When Bob wants to move around, he flaps his wings, signaling that he needs a lift.

Tellers say he spends most days moving between flirting with customers in the window and sipping his sugar water. “We at least got him some friends,” Schiele said. “But I am bound and determined to get him a woman.”

Thanks to Out There reader Leyetta W..

Super Size This!

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) — Sturdier toilets may be on their way in Australia to cope with the country's increasingly obese population.

Standards Australia, a nongovernment group that establishes safety and design standards, is considering recommending strengthening loos for larger users, a spokeswoman said Tuesday.

Obesity levels have been rising for years in Australia.

Standards Australia spokeswoman Kate Evans said the current industry standard for toilet seats is just 100 pounds and that the group is looking to increase it to 330 pounds.

Experts will examine the seats "from the perspective that people are getting bigger," Evans said.

Steve Cummings, a committee member for Standards Australia and head of research and development at toilet maker Caroma Dorf, told Sydney tabloid The Daily Telegraph that toilet seats need to be strengthened for larger Australians.

"If you are going to sit on it, you want it to hold you," he said.

Thanks to Out There reader Alex K.

Runaway Bobbleheads Take Georgia by Storm

DULUTH, Ga. (AP) — Like the woman who inspired their creation, Runaway Bride bobblehead dolls disappeared quickly during a sports promotion in her hometown.

The dolls, given to the first 1,000 people through the doors at the Gwinnett Gladiators ice hockey game Sunday, were gone in about 10 minutes.

People lined up more than three hours before the gates opened.

The minor league ECHL team named the trinket the "Runaway Bride Any Similarity to Actual Persons is Unintended and Purely Coincidental" Bobblehead Doll.

The bobblehead features a generic woman's face, with a veil over her head, a sweat shirt that says "I (heart) Duluth," a pair of running shoes labeled "Adios" instead of Adidas and a picture of the state of Georgia on the back.

Duluth resident Jennifer Wilbanks' disappearance last April, just days before her scheduled 600-guest wedding, prompted a national search. She turned up in Albuquerque, N.M., claiming to have been abducted and raped. Relief quickly turned to confusion and anger among some when Wilbanks recanted her story, saying she fled because of "certain fears" controlling her life.

Wilbanks was ordered to perform community service for lying to police.

Right in the Privacy of Your Local Bar

LONDON (AP) — Bars and nightclubs in London and other British cities have begun using vending machines that sell sex toys such as mini vibrators.

The pink Tabooboo machines had previously been used in public toilets in Britain, under the assumption that such settings gave buyers some privacy.

But Geoff Todd, manager of the Alphabet Bar in London's West End area, said the Tabooboo machine it installed in the middle of the bar is used daily.

"Some people use it just because it's in the bar. Some make a special journey, maybe because they are to embarrassed to go into a sex shop," Todd was quoted as saying by Monday's The Guardian newspaper. "Some buy the toys because they are a novelty, some do it for a laugh, some buy them as presents. It's been a great success."

In addition to bars and nightclubs in London, Manchester and Newcastle, the vending machines also have begun to show up in hairdressing salons, health clubs and retail stores, Tabooboo managing director Alan Lucas said.

He said the company also has exported about 20 of the machines to Italy and about 10 to the United States.

"The younger generation isn't fazed by sex toys. They don't believe they equal pornography. Vending machines allow them to buy such products anonymously without going to a seedy sex shops to do so," Lucas said.

The 11 different sex toys carried by the Tabooboo vending machines sell for an average 5 pounds (euro7.30, US$8.80) each, Lucas said.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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