"The Colbert Report," the hot new ersatz news program on Comedy Central has been watching "The Big Story" lately. And host Stephen Colbert has been mocking me.

Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "THE COLBERT REPORT")

STEPHEN COLBERT, HOST, "THE COLBERT REPORT": The United Arab Emirates ports controversy continues to dominate the news. In fact, I would say right now it's the big story. And when I want to know about the big story, I always check out FOX News' "The Big Story with John Gibson."

(LAUGHTER)

COLBERT: Now, Gibson is a good guy. He wrote "The War on Christmas," and I usually spend Christmas Eve with him, all the way through Christmas morning. We sleep in shifts to guard against the anti-Christmas insurgents.

(LAUGHTER)

COLBERT: Johnny has been speaking out on this Dubai ports debacle. Last week, he brought on an eyewitness to dealings between the UAE government officials and Usama bin Laden. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "THE BIG STORY")

JOHN GIBSON, HOST: You saw them at these falcon camps with Usama bin Laden. What did you see?

ALAN PARROT, SAW BIN LADEN AND UNITED ARAB EMIRATES INTERACT: They have failed to close down the falconry camps, which are the real venue for planning the terror events that we have seen around the world.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(LAUGHTER)

COLBERT: How could we have failed to shut down the falconry camps? We know Al Qaeda is after our field mice.

(LAUGHTER)

COLBERT: By the way, did you notice the guy's name is Parrot?

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

COLBERT: Very suspicious.

But John Gibson: Have that guy on next Christmas. He looks like one of the Wise Men.

(LAUGHTER)

COLBERT: Now, unfortunately, the interview ended on a bit of a sour note. Once the handler took off the raptor's hood, it pecked out John Gibson's eyes.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

COLBERT: Gibson kept screaming, "No, no, no," but his eyes said, "Yes, yes, yes."

(LAUGHTER)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

OK. Hats off to "The Colbert Report." Whatever else it is, it's funny.

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