It's really hard to write a Grrr! column when I'm staring at the calm waters of the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Waikiki.
Here for the Pro Bowl, I flew out of Atlanta for the 9 1/2-hour flight to paradise, a surprisingly non-grrring experience. About the only thing I had an issue with was the Neanderthal family who let their baby fall hard with a thump from his seat.
The toddler was unsupervised but otherwise well behaved, but he had a habit of standing up in his seat. About halfway through the flight he fell and hit the floor with a thud, followed by his blood curdling screams. I felt terrible for the little guy.
He was an accident waiting to happen, and one did.
The Grrr! is for the kid's parents, who never bothered to tell him to stay seated, and when he fell, dad grabbed him by the arm, lifted him up and swung him over to mom, like some rag doll.
My heart breaks for that kid who is more than likely in for a lifetime of neglect from his selfish parents.
Honolulu is a beautiful place, but the first thing I was greeted by as I walked the streets to grab a slice of pizza was a sidewalk full of working ladies. At first I thought that the women here sure are friendly, until my brother told me not to flatter myself too much, because they're hookers.
Oops. And I think I've seen it all.
The thing about Waikiki is that the women, both locals and tourists, are all wearing next to nothing because the weather is so nice here. The prostitutes, at least to an untrained eye, tend to blend right in.
For the most part they stick to one block, and seasoned tourists and locals simply avoid it at night.
But I didn't come to Hawaii to look for Grrrs. I came for the Pro Bowl, and the city was teeming with players and their families, who were all having a great time. "FOX and Friends" co-host Tiki Barber (Tiki Tuesdays) was here to play, as was his brother Ronde, and the whole Barber family came out to celebrate.
Mama Law, the Jets' Ty Law's mother, was proudly wearing her No. 24 jersey at the game, and Seattle Seahawk Wayne Hunter, who grew up here and played football in high school and college on the island, took to the field at Kapiolani Park with a bunch of kids from military families for a bit of football mini-camp and motivational speaking.
"If I can do it so can you," the big guy told a group of youngsters who were being treated to football lessons by Cedric Jones, a former Patriots player and Super Bowl champ who now heads up the NFL Youth Division.
Jones said the group's most important message was "Win big, dream big." He also spoke about "The Mama Test."
"When you're confronted with a choice and you have any doubt in your mind," he said, "ask yourself if your mother would be proud if she saw you doing that, and if the answer is 'no,' don't do it. Simple as that."
After the game, I visited tattoo artist Matt Cox at A Tiki Tatoo. He carved a tribal band around my right arm that's healing nicely. Tattoos are big business out here, especially when our brave men and women of the armed forces come in for some much-needed R&R from Iraq and Afghanistan.
Matt told me a lot of guys come in with some heroic stories from the battlefield. I told Mrs. Grrr! she'll have to get the same tattoo around her ankle if she ever comes here. When she asked if it hurt, I thought she was concerned about her man, but in effect she wanted me to be punished for being in Hawaii when she and baby Maxine are snowed in back home.
Great timing, huh? Maybe my flight will be delayed and I'll have to stay an extra day. Hah. That'll go over real well.
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