Your Grrrs...

Mark Riggle writes: Lane from Wisconsin said so well what I have written to you many times. This column is about looking at ourselves and laughing a little. However, Lane added an extra spin that I, too, have experienced. I want to sum up my thoughts in a little chart:

Grrr! Rookie (a new Grrr! reader) - One who discovers the Grrr! column and finds it interesting or amusing.

Grrr! Beginner — One who has begun to read the Grrr! column on a regular basis. Begins to really identify with the those who write into Your Grrrs!

Grrr! Regular — One who begins to see Oblivions, Wal-Martians, etc., in their own life, and begins to get angry about it. Considers writing in to the Grrr! guy.

Grrr! Intermediate — One who writes in to the Grrr! guy to vent. Has learned most of the Grrr! lexicon. Quick to point a Grrring finger.

Grrr! Advanced — One who can point out any Grrr! Has learned to accept that Obliviots, Left-Lane Vigilantes, etc., cannot be changed and don't read the Grrr! column anyway. Gets less worked up by column and the letters written to the Grrr! guy.

Grrr! Fully Matured - Has come full circle. Knows the lexicon. Watches "The Real Deal." Laughs a lot when reading the Grrr! column. May write occasionally. But most importantly, he or she has come to the understanding that we are all Oblivions to some degree and, like Lane, realizes that he or she might show up in the Grrr! column one day as one being Grrr!-ed.

Laugh, people. Then when you're done ... laugh some more!

Rebecca E. in Escondido, Calif.: My Grrr! is all this hype about the bird flu. Nobody seems to focus on the fact that these children in Turkey were playing with dead birds' heads in their house! Hello! You are bound to get some sort of disease that way! Good grief!

Jason P. writes: In response to your latest column regarding the XM Samsung Helix and the comment from Anthony stating that Sirius has nothing smaller to offer than an anvil sized receiver is incorrect. Sirius offers the same Samsung player called the Sirius S50, exact same portable MP3 Player/Receiver. Same device for both companies — the downside to this product that both companies downplay is that you cannot listen to a "live" broadcast anywhere you go. The Helix 50 or Sirius S50 must be attached to either your home or auto docking station. Just wanted to give you a little more info. Oh, and I enjoy reading your column.

Jen M. writes about porn star Austyn Moore: In reference to your concluding paragraph about Austyn Moore's parents supporting her porn star lifestyle — any father who isn't outraged at his daughter's choice to become a porn star provides one with insight into why she has chosen that path for her life to begin with. Traditionally, it is the father's responsibility to protect and look after his daughter until she is married, at which point, her protection becomes her husband's responsibility — hence the symbolism of the father giving his daughter away during the wedding ceremony. Any father who supports his daughter's choice to have public, random, casual sex for money has clearly not raised his daughter right to begin with! Anyway, love your column. Keep up the great work!

Jen — just to clarify, Austyn did not say her father supports her decision. She said "he still gets weird about it." She said her mother supports her, but she's not happy about it.

Brett S. writes: Mike … just caught the "Real Deal from Vegas" … just wanted to say you definitely need to stick with the goatee … looks good. Makes you look hip and a little younger. That being said, I thought Jenna's answers were pretty thin. "I have always been honest about who I am and I think respect that." Yeah, Jenna, that's what it is. Ditto Austyn … why do I get the impression her dad is mortified at her choice of profession? My wife is currently pregnant with what will be our third boy. No girls … and in no way is this depressing. I don't know what I'd do if I had a daughter and had to deal with something like this.

Karen Q. in Allen, Texas: It's too bad you had to be in Las Vegas surrounded by all those beautiful and sexy women. I hope the trip wasn't too stressful for you. Well, it may have been since you are a family man. I hope your wife was understanding when you returned home. ;)

Charles in Nashville: Same crowd who cheer and yell at school graduations and leave their phones on in church so that it will ring halfway through the minister's prayer. It's all about them, and you and I are just in the way. Who cares if we're irritated? Not them!

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