Disney World – I really like going to Disney World.
It's a slice of Americana that even the most jaded of Grrrers can't help but enjoy. However, there is plenty to Grrr! about, because the majority of people who visit any vacation resort tend to lapse into extreme Oblivionism as soon as their suitcases are packed and they hit the air terminals.
(In case you're new to the Grrr! column, an Oblivion is one who is so oblivious to his surroundings that he commits daily — make that by-the-minute — acts of rudeness without ever knowing it.)
They're simply oblivious about being Oblivions.
For instance, I'm not really sure why Oblivions insist on trying to bring oversized bags onto the plane. They are not only rude to the people who take the time to check their bags, but to the flight attendants as well.
Like the lady on my JetBlue flight to Orlando, who tried her hardest to squeeze her giant bag into the overhead compartment. When the flight attendant told her she had to take take it down to check it, she told him the bag was just too heavy, so if he wanted it checked he would have to get it down himself. Grrr!
And guess what?
At baggage claim, not only did the Oblivion pick up the bag that was rejected from the cabin, but she picked up another one, too. So she actually went through the whole baggage check but opted to try to bring one on board anyway! I don't get it.
And then there was the young couple who traveled with their 1-year old.
Now, baby Maxine was with us to celebrate her second birthday in Disney World, a new Grrr! family tradition — hopefully — but this couple did not prepare well. They had no pacifier for their daughter, and the poor thing cried all the way to Orlando.
Good thing the flight had DirecTV and free headphones. Note to other airlines: JetBlue gives away headphones. They don't charge $4 per set like some others do.
Anyway, on the ground, Disney World this time of the year is not crowded at all, and the usual long lines for "It's a Small World" or "Test Track" aren't too bad. And these days, Disney mitigates the ride wait by offering "Fast Pass" at some of its most popular attractions.
"Fast Pass" allows park guests to get set return times for those attractions and skip the lines.
Baby Maxine was particularly fond of the Osborne Spectacle of Light, a Christmas extravaganza featuring millions of lights that is seriously breathtaking. And the cool thing about Disney is that they don't only pander to the "Happy Holidays" crowd.
The lights actually say "Merry Christmas," and there are even some angels flying around. Imagine that, a conglomerate not conforming to political correctness.
Kidd's Kids
This week at Disney there is a group of terminally ill and handicapped children who are part of Kidd's Kids, a charity organization established by syndicated morning radio personality Kidd Kraddick.
Kidd's Kids sends families to Disney World for five days every year, and because of the heartbreaking circumstances of these children, the cause is one worth mentioning and supporting.
Listen folks, when the job has you down, when the bills are tough to meet, when your favorite football team is in a rut, think about the fact that you have good health. Even better, think about the fact that your children — your most cherished possessions — have their health.
Because at the end of the day, it is health that will help you get through all the "trials" that we call life. Those Kidd's Kids and many others out there who are suffering from birth defects, terminal illness or devastating injuries know what real trials and tribulations are, yet they still smile and bring joy to those around them.
They don't take life for granted. It's about time we don't.
Sitting at a table at The Prime Time Cafe at Disney's MGM Studios, who would think that right next to you sat a rock star of immense cyber-proportions -- none other than Elgus Proungly.
For those of you who don't know -- and there can't be many -- Elgus is, in his own words, is a "Bad Impersonator, World Class Kazooist, Man on a Mission."
That mission is to take AC/DC tunes and in parody, make them Christian rock songs, like the famous "You Shook Me All Night Long," — which becomes "Sam Shook The Wall All Down," a song that chronicle's Samson's plight.
AC/DC lead singer Bon Scott better watch out!
But seriously, Elgus, aka Brice, is a family man from Texas just having a little fun, and in between, bringing his daughter to Disney World while in town to purchase a Jeep with a Corvette engine to drive back to the Lone Star State.
You can't argue with that!
Good luck, Elgus. It was nice meeting you. And if you take requests, I'd like to hear "For Those About to Rock" turn into "For Those About to Pray." Or something like that.
Some Vacation Grrrs
- There should be designated "motor scooter" weeks at all resorts, so when people who find it hard to get around, or who are just too darn lazy to walk, go barreling through the park on their oh-so-necessary motor scooters, they're not running over my 2 year old.
- Never take your electric razor's buzzer to your eyebrows for a little trim -- after drinking. Yeah, I have a bald spot in my right eyebrow.
- More ESPN Zones during football season. Can't they open those things up on a 15 Sunday only basis?
- All companies should offer vacations with an "option to extend" feature, for employees who are just having too much fun to return to work just yet.
- Returning vacationers should try shipping all of their new purchases home instead of dragging them on the flight home. We all buy souvenirs without thinking about the already stuffed suitcases we came with.
Before I go, congratulations to Tony Stewart and the Joe Gibbs Racing Team for winning their second NASCAR Nextel Cup championship over the weekend. Ever since I went to Martinsville, Va., for this episode of FOXNews.com's The Real Deal, I've been hooked on NASCAR.
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