Stella isn't happy about losing her groove.

Terry McMillan appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday to confront her gay ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer, who inspired McMillan's 1996 novel "How Stella Got her Groove Back." The book, later adapted into a movie, chronicled the adventures of a 40-something woman who falls for a guy half her age.

McMillan filed for divorce in January after 6 1/2 years of marriage when she learned Plummer was gay.

"I always thought Jonathan was not the most masculine man that I had been with," the 54-year-old author told Winfrey. But she says she never suspected anything because "all men aren't masculine. He wasn't effeminate."

When Plummer joined McMillan on stage, she told him, "You didn't say anything about being gay. You said everything but that."

"I did expect her to be upset," Plummer said. He said he only realized he was gay in the final two years of the marriage.

The divorce was an ugly one with each having restraining orders filed on the other and Plummer suing for spousal support. The fallout led McMillan and others to conclude Plummer married only to get his U.S. citizenship — he's a native of Jamaica, where they met.

As to why he sued, Plummer refused to comment, saying he didn't want to "restir things right now."

But while the two argued during much of the show, questioning each other's account, they said they are now approaching reconcilement.

"I regret hurting her," said Plummer. "There are better ways to be doing this."

McMillan acknowledged, "I think that Jonathan did love me, because you can't fake this stuff."