Anybody want to help me write one of these things?

Wednesday is the deadline — I have to have a 750-word piece done for Macleans magazine, which is like Time and Newsweek and People all rolled into one for Canada (search).

They asked if I'd be interested in commenting on several areas: Canada-U.S. relations, including the issues I took up in my book "Hating America."

You might recall that I included Canada in a chapter called "The Axis of Envy" and I said Canadians had what appeared to be a genetic deformity — a need to kick Americans in the shins, which they seemed to have been born with.

So has that changed? I hear not much. I was reading a Washington Post piece by an American living in Canada — it ran last November right after Bush was re-elected. She said if you're thinking of moving to Canada, a word of advice... don't.

She was a proper Kerry voting blue-stater, but the anti-Americanism among ordinary iceheads was, in her opinion, totally off the charts.

They also want to know if I think efforts to repair relations are working.

Well, I looked through the Canadian papers and I didn't find one piece about what knuckle-dragging Cro-Magnons Americans are... that's a start. Somehow, I don't think it will last, but a day without one of those in a Canadian paper is almost news in itself.

I must admit that now that it is summer tourist season I do hope Americans are not going to Canada to spend dollars. We buy their oil and we buy cars that GM and Ford make in Canada. That's enough.

I also must admit that I'm still resentful of the thousands of Canadians hiking around Europe this summer with those maple leaf patches sewed to their backpacks. I'm not an American, they seem to scream.

Yes, we know that. You're not an American. You just want to come here to work because your socialist country can't give you the opportunities you want.

Notice we're still letting Canadians come down here for the big bucks? We don't have to keep doing that forever, you know — just a reminder.

Tuesday's the deadline — send me your observations.

That's My Word.

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