Bush Holds Up White House

Somehow, it didn't make big news when Bush robbed the White House.

Rosenberg, Texas, police say a man wearing a George H.W. Bush mask held up the White House supermarket (search) and two other stores last week, according to local television reports.

The pistol-packing phony president made the White House grocery his first destination last Monday morning, according to KPRC-TV of Houston, before moving on to Fast Addy's convenience store about 15 minutes later.

KHOU-TV says the White House was hit second, but also notes the bandit's speed and apparent sense of political irony.

Both stations report that the bad Bush was back in action Thursday morning, holding up Davila's Drive-In Grocery Store (search).

"It appeared that he changed clothes between the offenses," Rosenberg police Detective Collin Davidson told KPRC. "There is some type of root problem to this, which is probably focused around drugs."

The masked gunman was described as a Hispanic male, 5'9", between 200 and 250 pounds — considerably shorter and portlier than either the 6'4" ex-president or his son, the exceptionally fit current occupant of the real White House.

There were no reports of injuries to store employees or customers during the robberies. Tipsters are invited to call (281) 342-TIPS.

Rosenberg is just southwest of Houston.

— Thanks to Out There reader Bobby O.

Woman Busted for Carrying Fish Under Skirt

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) — There must have been something fishy about the way she walked.

Customs officials said Monday they stopped a woman as she arrived Friday in the southern Australian city of Melbourne on a flight from Singapore and found 51 live tropical fish allegedly hidden in a specially designed apron under her skirt.

"During the search, customs officers became suspicious after hearing 'flipping' noises coming from the vicinity of her waist," the Australian Customs Service (search) said in a press release. "An examination revealed 15 plastic water-filled bags holding fish allegedly concealed inside a purpose-built apron."

The species of fish was not immediately known, but customs officials warned they could carry diseases that could decimate Australian fish if they escaped into local rivers.

Customs officers will charge the woman once they establish what species the fish are. If convicted of smuggling wildlife, she faces a fine of up to U.S. $83,617 and could also get a prison sentence of up to 10 years.

— Thanks to Out There readers Bob C. and Eric A.

Chicken Fights Way Out of Jaywalking Ticket

RIDGECREST, Calif. (AP) — A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it.

The $54 citation for impeding traffic was dismissed May 27 after Linc and Helena Moore's attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock.

State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals.

As previously reported in Out There, the chicken was ticketed March 26 for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.

The Moores said they got the ticket because they were among several people who complained that deputies have done little to curb noisy off-road vehicle riders.

"For the last two-and-a-half years, no one has been able to stop the kids riding their bikes in the middle of the road or the neighbors' dogs running around our neighborhood," Linc Moore said. "But when our chicken escaped and crossed the road once, it became a huge issue."

Sheriff's officials said the ticket had nothing to do with the Moores' complaints.

— Thanks to Out There readers Chris P. and Peter L.

Russian Pigs Become Pro Athletes

MOSCOW (AP) — In this game, everyone stinks and hogging the ball is to be expected.

Ten squealing, wriggling piglets pushed — and licked — a soccer ball around a small caged pen Sunday in what organizers said was Russia's first-ever "pig-ball" championships.

The event, staged as part of an agricultural exhibition on Moscow's outskirts, is set up like soccer (without the humans). Here, there are two teams of five piglets.

Instead of goals, the teams try to move the ball into painted, half-circles located at the pen's corners. To move things along, the ball is slathered in mashed carrots.

Whether there's any athletic skill involved — aside from aggressive licking — is an open question.

"Why pigs?" asked Nariner Bagmanyan, one of the event's organizers. "It's more interesting, and you know, this kind of thing doesn't happen anywhere."

Click in the photo box above to see a picture.

Zebra Takes Morning Jog Through Suburban Neighborhood

MONTVILLE, N.J. (AP) — A wayward zebra was captured early Friday after it escaped from a traveling animal show going on at a Morris County park, and eventually wandered into a nearby residential area.

Authorities were not sure what caused the full-grown zebra, named Zimba, and another animal in the show — a horse named Fella — to jump the fence of their corrals, but their handlers say the pair were likely spooked by wild animals sometime during the overnight hours.

The horse was found a short distance away from the Lenni Lenape Park (search) in Parsippany, where the Green Meadows Cultural Events show has been staged since last week.

Zimba, though, roamed for about two miles before reaching some homes in neighboring Montville, surprising residents who say they often see turkeys, foxes and coyotes — but not zebras.

Patricia Zane, who lives nearby, was drinking some coffee on her back porch when she heard a loud crunching noise coming from some nearby trees. She thought she was dreaming when she first saw the zebra, then quickly ran upstairs to wake up her husband and call authorities.

"I thought the cops were going to think I was nuts," Zane told the Daily Record of Parsippany. "I thought I was nuts myself."

A large crowd, mostly residents still clad in their pajamas, soon gathered to get a look at the zebra, which was eventually caught by police and animal control officials around 6:30 a.m.

Neither Zimba nor Fella were hurt, authorities said, and both were returned to officials with the Jamesville, Md.-based Green Meadows show.

"It was hysterical [seeing the zebra]. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen," another resident, Sheila Bellini, told The Star-Ledger of Newark. "The news went through Montville in 30 seconds."

Woman Pulls Cat Out of Coyote's Jaws

RICHLAND, Wash. (AP) — The last things Melissa Bratvold considered were medical bills and safety when she saw a couple of coyotes about a dozen feet from her back door, one with her pet cat Abby in its mouth.

"I saw her eyes, and I could just tell that Abby wasn't going to make it," Bratvold said. "I didn't think, I just went for her ...

"It was a melee. I was screaming, they were biting," she said. "I don't even remember how I got the cat out of their jaws. I was hysterical."

Bitten on the hands and arms, she pulled the cat to safety.

"I didn't want to let my cat go. It wasn't going to end like that," Bratvold said. "When it was over, my porch looked like a 'CSI' crime scene — hair, blood and slime was everywhere."

Eight weeks later, after surgery for a collapsed lung and other injuries, Abby is home again with Bratvold in the Horn Rapids area on the northern outskirts of the eastern Washington town. Veterinary bills exceeded $2,000, and Bratvold's medical bills ran about $10,000.

"Abby is back to her original self," Bratvold said, "although she's an indoor cat now."

Coyote sightings in the area are not uncommon. Horn Rapids Golf Course workers say they frequently find the remains of house cats and other small animals killed by predators, and what Bratvold did was ill-advised, said Michael Livingston, a biologist with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife (search).

"At that point, I would have considered the cat a goner and taken it as a valuable lesson to keep my cat inside," Livingston said.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Paul Wagenseil.

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