But no, they found plenty of parents more than happy to let the whole world see what horrible, neurotic, driven life-losers they are in "Sports Kids Moms & Dads (search)."
While not quite as horrific as the showbiz parents, it's no day at the beach, either — more like a day at the loony bin. These parents, desperate for their average kids to be superstars, keep saying that it's the kids who want it.
Take the 8-year-old football player named Trenton (hint: if you name your kid after a city in New Jersey, you are insane).
Trenton's father (an Al Bundy double) acts like a nut job. He says he's miserable that he never made it to the NFL. After watching him, I say, he's lucky if he can make it to the corner on his own, let alone the NFL.
This guy drives the kid relentlessly, and then at night has the boy write letters to the football coach of University of Michigan telling him that he's a football superstar and wants to attend the U of M. When? In 10 years?
Then there's Sharon, the scary mother of the 8-year old cheerleader, Sarah. Yes, apparently, 8-year old cheerleaders are as easy to find in Texas as 4-year old beauty queens.
There's hell to pay when the kid falls from the top of some idiotic cheerleader pyramid.
The other parent-kid pairings — such as the 16-year-old male ice skater — are no better. This kid's mom is such a freak that she literally melts down during every competition and paces the halls rather than watch the kid compete.
Semi-normal are TJ and Lindsay, a mom/basketball coach and her daughter who seems to be a truly talented player who loves the game. You can talk back to your mom — but you can't mouth off to your coach.
Strangest of all, however, is a mom, Karen, who is going through a divorce in what looks like a tony town in Connecticut. Her daughters are equestrians with a $40,000 horse that they now must sell.
The mother comes across as incredibly passive/aggressive, telling the girls that finances prevent them from competing in the big show in Florida — but lo and behold, she scrapes up the money to let them compete.
The girls start hugging each other with happiness, and then the mom hits them with the fact that the spots were already filled. They are dejected. Then she says, but guess what? "Two kids dropped out" so you can go. And sell the horse while you're there.
'Sports Kids Moms & Dads' airs Wednesday at 10 p.m. EDT on Bravo.