Designer diva Donatella Versace (search) has come clean about the 18-year cocaine habit that nearly killed her — revealing how at first she considered it "just having fun."
"I didn't feel I was addicted," she tells the May issue of Vogue (search).
"Cocaine used to be a lot of fun . . . I had the best time of my life."
The blond fashionista, now 50, says she was 32 when she took her first snort, but initially didn't feel much of anything.
"You just feel more awake, more aware. Unfortunately, it doesn't continue like that. So I just kept doing it, every time I was in New York, in Los Angeles, mostly at parties," she says.
She stopped doing blow briefly, when her brother Gianni was murdered in his home by a psycho stalker in July 1997. But she soon developed an even worse habit: mixing the cocaine with Valium (search) and Rohypnol (search).
"Yes, I enjoyed those people," Donatella said. "But if I wouldn't use the cocaine to have the fake happiness, I wouldn't be able to go to those people, because I'm so unhappy, so lonely, because I hate myself."
She went to rehab after her friends, including Elton John, held an intervention at her daughter's 18th birthday party last summer.
Donatella spent five weeks in the Arizona facility, and insisted her drug days are over for good.
"I'm very determined that I don't want to feel that way again," she said.