Dumb and Dumber

President Bush is still in Europe (search) so the temptation is to — once again — to boot the Euros around for their latest bit of stupidity. But I'm trying to kick the Euro-kicking habit.

My wife says I'm turning into a one trick pony:

"Euro bashing again?" she says.

"Hey, I threw in the Canadians!" I reply.

"Not good enough," she says. "The ice-heads are just Euros in denial that they're Americans."

She's probably right. So despite the fact that Europeans — and Canadians — have decided the U.S. is not the country to be exporting democracy around the world, and despite the fact they have been too weak to do it, I'm gong to forego an easy target today.

Instead, let's talk about Paris Hilton (search).

Hear about her latest stunt? Somebody hacked into her picture phone and now there are pictures on the Internet which seem to show her... well, it is not as bad as the tape showing her having sex with a guy, but it's up there.

Oh my god, what am I talking about? Paris Hilton? Even I about gag thinking about her and how dumb she appears to be in that TV show of hers.

I can't go on talking about her.

Let me go at the Euro thing another way: Who do they think is going to spread democracy around the world if not the U.S.? Nobody in Europe, that's for sure. Ask the Iraqis if they were happy the Euros were so cozy with Saddam.

Oh jeez, I'm sounding like a broken record. You know all that stuff already. They're dopes and nobody even bothers denying it anymore.

Let me try this Paris Hilton stuff again.

This should be a lesson to us all. Hackers can get into your Blackberry (search), or Sidekick, or cell phone and see the stupid notes you write yourself, or your dumb, moronic pictures of yourself.

Hold on. Does anybody but Paris Hilton take pictures of themselves as stupid as this? It's really nobody's problem but hers.

I can't stand to hear myself talking about her anymore.

OK, how about this: She's famous for being dumb. The Euros are dumber. There, I've said all I can on both subjects.

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