NEW YORK – If you can't take one more band of extremely good-looking people being overwhelmed by yet another opulent apartment where they'll live and compete, you might want to give that one another think.
The Donald's "The Apprentice" (search) Season Three, which comes a couple of days before The Marriage Attempt Three, is as good as Season One. (I can only speak about the show, not the marriage, although I did mention to Trump the other day that he gets married more often than I get manicured. But hey, third time's the charm, right?)
Anyway, even though last season's finale lasted longer than the Super Bowl — and made me want to pull out my own teeth for diversion — son of a, er, gun, if he didn't pull me back in again.
This season's a winner — no matter who's the final winner.
Tomorrow night, you'll meet 18 more extremely handsome, competitive people with no body fat to speak of who all want to work for The Donald. It's probably not so much that they want to work for Trump, as they want to be in the game — literally and figuratively.
The gambit this time? Half of the extremely good-looking people with no body fat to speak of are college grads and half are high-school grads. Right off, you've got the perfect setup for the American dream.
And right after that, Trump announces that in real life the high-schoolers have three times the net worth of the college grads.
Now that might be because they have been working longer, or it might be because they've got bigger, ah, balance sheets. Whatever it is, they edited the show so that the high-school grads just seem like so much nicer, funnier, happier people.
As one particularly good guy says, "We're gonna win 'cause we got nuthin' to lose."
His point? If he is beaten, he loses to a college graduate. "But hey — if he gets beat by me, he got beat by a schmo from Tampa," he says.
Because producer Mark Burnett (search) knows how to pick and choose — and cut and paste — very quickly you get to meet the world's most annoying guy, Danny, one of the college grads who wears equally annoying leisure suits and makes up folk music to go with every conversation.
And even more annoying is the fact that the college grads are always high-fiving each other and yelling, in unison, "Unbelievable!"
That the street-smart team didn't jump across the suite and give the college grads a good beating shows, as far as I'm concerned, incredible restraint. One punch — just one punch — please!
But this doesn't mean that the college grads win the first task. Nor does it mean they lose the first task. It just means that are annoying enough to make fun television.
Oh, their task this time? Pick from one of the new menu items at Burger King, and market it and sell it right at a Burger King restaurant.
Would either of the college kids' or the street smarties' promotion have lured me in? No.
The only thing that would have lured me in is a calorie-free Whopper and fries. Now there's a promotion I could wrap my arms around.