A family who turned on the TV Christmas morning to watch choirs sing instead was treated to some naughty programming.

"I turn it to Channel 15 and there's this naked lady on the screen — I mean full-frontal, get-the-hell-out-of-here pornography," David Umana, of Kenmore, Ohio, told The Associated Press. "When I tell about Christmas 2004, I'm betting this will be one of my best stories."

Umana's teenage sons, 15 and 17, had left the room, but he and his wife, Karen, caught the porn on the local public access station and called the cable company.

A Time Warner Cable official said that a church program was slated to go on air that morning, but that the wrong tape must have been played.

"I don't think the church group submitted that," Chris Thomas, the cable company's director of government affairs, told the AP.

Daytime programming on the station generally comes from local schools, but material for the other time slots can come from anywhere. Akron officials have been unsuccessful in their efforts to shut down skin shows at the station.

Intruders Sorry for Breaking Into Wrong House

Maybe the English really are more refined.

Two armed men broke into a Swinton, Yorkshire, woman's home, and swiftly apologized after realizing they had the wrong address, Agence France-Presse reported.

The men, carrying a knife and a plank of wood, surprised the woman, who was upstairs with her children. But upon seeing she was not the person they wanted to beat up, they left.

"It became obvious the intruders had got the wrong address and they left, apologizing. No threats were made, although the woman was in a distressed state," a South Yorkshire police spokesman said.

The intruders' presumed intended target was not so lucky. After leaving the woman's house, the men broke into the house next door and beat up a young man.

He was not seriously hurt, and police have no motive for the attack.

Son Wanted More Than Coal This Christmas

FEASTERVILLE, Pa. (AP) — A man angry that he got no presents for Christmas burned down his parents' house early the next morning, police said.

Steven Murray, 21, was charged with arson and risking a catastrophe in the blaze that broke out early Sunday. No one was injured.

Police said Murray had himself committed to a hospital on Christmas Day, but then signed himself out and walked eight miles home. Later he told police he saw the flames in the distance.

But officers said his jacket smelled of smoke and they found a lighter in his pocket and a gas can near the front door.

"He was irritated that his family gave him no presents for Christmas," Lower Southampton police officer Peter Liese said.

Murray was jailed on $1 million bail. It was not immediately known whether he had a lawyer.

Drug-Smuggling 'Santa's Helpers'

CLEVELAND (AP) — The packages were labeled as toys for good girls and boys and the business was called Santa's Helpers. But authorities say the packages were nothing more than a naughty ruse to cover a large-scale drug smuggling operation.

The bogus business tried to smuggle $7.8 million worth of cocaine from Los Angeles to nearby Willoughby, authorities said. Drug agents seized about 175 pounds of cocaine Monday in the largest seizure in Cleveland this year.

Four 55-gallon steel drums used as shipping containers raised suspicions. Billing information said the barrels contained toys, novelties and games.

Federal prosecutors charged Edward Boynton, 35, of Inglewood, Calif., with intent to possess cocaine. Boynton appeared in U.S. District Court on Tuesday. His attorney, Mary Jo Tipping, had no comment.

Authorities said police learned Friday of suspicious packages at the Roadway Express offices. Officers brought in a police dog, which picked up the scent of drugs. Officers confiscated the drums and called the Drug Enforcement Agency (search).

Authorities say Boynton drove a rented truck to the business on Monday. He wore a coat and a T-shirt with the logo "Santa's Helpers" and had paperwork and tracking information for the shipment.

Boynton told authorities that he had flown from Los Angeles to Cleveland to meet the shipment.

Willoughby police stopped him as he left.

Boynton was being held without bond pending additional hearings.

Fido Takes the Wheel

SPRINGDALE, Ark. (AP) — Michael Henson left the auto parts store with more problems than when he arrived. For that, he can thank his dog.

Henson, whose truck had a sticking throttle, brought his dog along for company when he drove to O'Reilly Auto Parts store in Springdale on Sunday.

"He'd left the truck running — I guess to show the people at O'Reilly's — and the dog jumped over and knocked the truck into gear," Springdale police Sgt. Billy Turnbough said.

The truck raced into the building, stunning Henson and clerk Josh Hopper.

"The guy said he was standing there, looked up, and saw his dog driving his truck through the building," Turnbough said.

Hopper said he heard the crash and looked up from the transaction.

"His truck was in the window," Hopper said. "I thought, 'Oh no.' Everybody was fine. His front left tire just made it onto the brick wall."

No one was hurt and no humans or animals were cited, police said.

Ex-Social Worker Sends Gifts of Dead Birds

BINGHAMTON, N.Y. (AP) — A former state worker has been charged with second-degree stalking, accused of mailing dead rats, dead birds and used condoms as part of a pattern of harassment against 14 people.

State Police say Jack Rodack, 50, of Central Islip, was also charged with second-degree forgery, accused of falsely reporting police emergencies and child abuse at victims' homes, terminating their utility services, and ordering products delivered to homes.

Rodack is a former caseworker with the New Jersey State Division for Youth (search) and a former investigator with the New York State Department of State and had victims in New York City, Long Island, New Jersey and at least one in the Southern Tier, police said. He was sent to Broome County Jail without bail.

Vestal police had been investigating the local case of harassment for about eight years, State Police Senior Investigator Susan Mulvey told the Binghamton Press & Sun Bulletin.

Authorities said many victims came into contact with Rodack through his state jobs, but only some recalled having a problem with him.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Jane Roh.

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