Psychic Friends Calling

Dear Friends of "FOX & Friends,"

It's Monday and welcome back to the non-stop spin cycle known as the presidential campaign.

A new poll out shows that 47 percent of you thought John Kerry won the debate. Thirty-nine percent thought "W" won. Meanwhile, 11 percent of you were angry that Donald Trump didn't appear from off stage and fire somebody.

It's less than one month of shopping days left before election. We've been up to our eyeballs in polls: Gallop, Newsweek, Pew, Psychic Friends. Everybody has a poll and everybody says they know what YOU are thinking.

So let me ask you this... have you ever been polled? Gallop ever call? Rasmussen Reports ever phone you up before dinner? Any polling outfit?

If you're like me, the answer is no. Never. So how do they know what I'm thinking? They don't. Because I don't know what I'm thinking. But it does involve cheese.

One more thing, behind the scenes quite the TOP SECRET story is developing: Pentagon correspondent, Bret Baer, is getting hitched. Apparently the nuptials are in Chicago. Don't try to crash the wedding, Bret's calling in some favors from the Pentagon and there will be air support. (THAT IS A JOKE. THERE WILL BE NO AIR SUPPORT. THERE WILL BE "HAIR" SUPPORT, but that's another story.)

Also thank you to all of the concerned viewers who offered advice regarding my plumbing problems.

What? IF you were watching Monday at 7:30 a.m., you may have noticed that I was absent from the Gale Norton interview regarding Mount St. Helens (search). That was because I was on the phone talking to my wife about how to turn off the water supply to the entire house. Those levers and nozzles are a mystery to my wife, but she had to spring into action, when THE KITCHEN started filling up with water during the all-important bagel toasting time.

Keep in mind I did some "work" in the laundry room this weekend, fixing things. So clearly it was a coincidence that the day after my "work" in the laundry, that downstairs the kitchen would fill up. Right? Wrong.

I forgot something important... I had been so careful to attach the hot back to the hot and the cold back to the cold. So what could the problem possibly be?

I forgot to hook up the drain. I left it on the floor. So when it was time for the spin cycle, the water went splashing into breakfast.

But crisis averted, it's dry now. Until I get home, and the fur will be flying. (THAT IS A JOKE: For all our PETA readers, there will be no FUR flying, it's a FAUX-fur, but that again, is another story)

Have a great day, and we'll see you back on FNC bright and early tomorrow morning!

Steve Doocy
Co-Host/Temp Plumber

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