NEW YORK – Want Paris Hilton's (search) glowing complexion and super-slight figure? Sleep in your make-up, don't go to bed until 3 a.m., gobble down as much junk food, chocolate and carbs as you want - and never, ever drink diet soda.
In a new book out Tuesday, "Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Cheek Peek Behind the Pose" (search) (co-written with Merle Ginsberg), the star of reality TV and homemade porn offers often dubious advice on everything from dating to fashion to skin care.
A year-round tan is essential, says the perpetually bronzed blonde. "Mystic Tan is key," she writes. "I'm over tanning beds, because I really don't want to get skin cancer."
And there's no need to worry about cleansing and moisturizing your skin. Hilton says a true heiress should just "pile make-up on and never, ever have a breakout.
"I've actually found that sleeping in make-up can be good for my skin," Hilton writes, in an affront to beauty magazine editors and facialists everywhere. "It makes it look dewy. And then I don't have to do too much in the morning."
Could she be telling the truth?
"She might be one of those very lucky people that don't have to keep their pores clean," says Dr. Peter Wisch, a dermatologist on the Upper East Side.
There are women who can get away with neglecting their skin, he says, "but I usually recommend that the face be cleansed every night. You can get acne caused by oil building up under your make-up or moisturizer."
Hilton admits she does live "in fear of pimples" - but when she gets them, she heads straight to the makeup artists and never points them out to people - especially guys.
As for diet and exercise - if you work out, she says, never admit it.
"People should think you're perfect and it's effortless," she advises.
The Hilton-endorsed diet includes a ban on diet soda: "It shows you have no nerve." Only drink actual soda or energy drinks, she says.
"Don't be afraid to eat fast food as often as you can," Hilton continues. "Always order the largest portion of French fries. Eat pasta as often as you can. Eat as much chocolate as you can. Eat popcorn at night. In fact, eat all carbs at night. In fact, only eat carbs at night."
And when you're done loading up on carbs, grease and carbonated beverages, what better body part to flaunt than the belly?
"Show off your navel," she enthuses.
"If you wear jeans, wear them really, really low-waisted."
So what if baring your midriff in belly T's and low-rise jeans hasn't been fashionable since Britney Spears (search) made it her signature look?
"People tell me they're not trendy anymore," she concedes, "but I've never been one to follow the trends.
She also recommends that anyone aspiring to a fabulous life never go to bed before 3 a.m. and never wake up before 10 a.m.
And one's general demeanor should be less than Mensa-level.
"Act ditzy. Lose things," she writes. Like, say, an overly manicured teacup Chihuahua that's discovered days later at your grandparents' house?
Whether you misplace a living creature or your cell phone, Hilton thinks forgetfulness just makes people love you more.
"It throws people off and makes them think you're 'adorable,'" she says.
As for dating, partygirl Hilton says she gave her younger sister Nicky - who just had a late-night quickie Vegas wedding a few weeks ago - one crucial lesson.
"Guys are only going to want what they can't have," the elder Hilton sibling says.
"No one wants the beaten-up fake purse on Canal Street. Everyone wants the brand new colorful Louis Vuitton (search) that no one can get. Guys don't want the girl who's been around the block ... girls need to learn to hold out."
But should young girls heed the words of Hilton, who starred in the most famous celeb sex video since Pam Anderson?
They absolutely should, agrees relationship expert Yvonne Chase.
"Girls need to learn to hold out," Chase says enthusiastically.
"Wait until you meet someone who's worthy of giving your emotions to. Sex blinds you to who a person really is and a lot of women use sex to solidify and hold onto a relationship. Most times it doesn't.
"And," she adds, "there are diseases out there."