Frustrated Chimp Takes Up Smoking

It's not just humans who smoke as a response to sexual frustration.

The BBC quotes China's Xinhua news agency as saying that a zoo chimpanzee, embittered at her partner's lack of prowess, has taken up the human vices of nicotine and spitting on the ground.

Thirteen-year-old Feili, once a "gentle girl," has become a "shrew," said Liu Bing, director of the zoo in Zhengzhou (search), in the central Henan province.

Feili's partner, a virtual geriatric at 41, can't "meet her sexual demands," Liu explained. Chimps generally live 50 to 60 years.

Feili tries to bum cigarettes from zoo visitors, and gets peeved when people turn her down.

The BBC showed a photo of Feili with a lit cigarette in her mouth.

"Just now a tourist threw a cigarette butt to just outside the cage," one boy told Xinhua. "She tried to get the butt with a stick."

Stolen Money Laundered in Car Wash

CLEVELAND (AP) — The need for clean money gave him away.

A bank-robbery ring was cracked when police spotted a man changing hundreds of dollars in dye-stained bills for quarters in a drive-thru car wash coin machine, the FBI said.

Stephen C. Jackson, 35, arrested Aug. 18 in Ohio, was charged last Tuesday with conspiracy and bank robbery in a suburban Westlake holdup, the FBI said.

Jackson was arrested when police spotted him at a car wash feeding ink-stained bills into a changer. The money from the robbery was stained red when a dye pack exploded.

When an officer approached Jackson, he ran across a parking lot, leaving a trail of quarters dropping from his pockets. Police found $457.50 in quarters weighing 23 pounds in his pockets.

Police also found about $2,185 in bills on him and in his car.

Jackson's wife and another man also were charged in the holdup and the wife, the second man and a third suspect were charged in a Cleveland bank robbery.

— Thanks to Out There reader Michelle F.

Man Sucks Fat Out of Own Tummy

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — An overweight plastic surgeon performed liposuction (search) on himself on camera to promote the potential use of stem cells that can be harvested in such operations.

Dr. Robert Ersek, 66, who conducted the operation with the help of liposuction's French inventor, said he would encourage patients to save their liposuctioned fat from now on.

Dr. Yves Gerard Illouz (search), who was in town for a plastic surgery seminar and who at one point during Ersek's operation advised him on his technique, agreed.

"This will be the future," Illouz said of stem cells.

He said that in five years, adult stem cells derived from tissue, such as fat, and other organs will be successful in fighting disease and injuries. Illouz performed the first liposuction in 1977.

Adult stem cells are different from embryonic stem cells, which are controversial and involve the destruction of fertilized human eggs.

"It's unbelievable," said Ersek, who was captured on film by television and newspaper cameras, as well as by a staff member. "I'm the actor, the director and the cinematographer."

After using a local anesthetic to numb his left side, Ersek used a metal wand to suck out the fat. Attached to a long clear tube with a collection bottle at the end, Ersek stuck the wand deep into his abdomen and pushed it from side to side.

Ersek removed about 1½ pounds of fat from his left abdomen, leaving the 5-foot-6 doctor weighing in at about 198 pounds. He said he would leave his right side "as is" for now and be his own before-and-after liposuction ad for his patients.

Jail Time for Man Who Watched Porn in Car

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. (AP) — A man who was watching a pornographic movie in his car as police pulled up behind him has been sentenced to three weekends in jail.

Andre Gainey, 35, was arrested in February after police said images from the movie could be seen from outside his Mercedes as he drove through the city 11 miles west of Albany.

Police, who pulled up behind Gainey at an intersection, said the movie was playing on screens set into the passenger-side sun visor and the car's headrests.

Gainey, who was sentenced Friday, pleaded guilty in June to misdemeanor public display of sexual material.

Old Folks' Home Honors Toilet Paper

EVANSVILLE, Ind. (AP) — Something often taken for granted but hard to live without — toilet paper — was celebrated by residents of a retirement community.

Thelma Brittingham, in charge of the celebration at Holiday Retirement Village (search), told the Evansville Courier & Press that she wanted to give her fellow residents a reason to smile.

So Thursday, they ate ice cream and cake and put up decorations to celebrate the invention of the bathroom necessity.

Estimates vary, but Brittingham said she found after some research that some believe Aug. 26, 1857, was the first time toilet paper, in a primitive form, was used. She said that even if it is not the exact date, there was still cause for a celebration.

"When some people heard we were celebrating toilet paper's birthday, they asked me, 'Have you lost your mind?' But it's just a lot of fun," she said. "So many of these people don't get out, don't laugh, and anything we can do to encourage laughter, we'll do."

Joseph Cayetty (search) of New York is credited with inventing toilet paper in 1857 made of just flat sheets, but the invention failed, according to several Web sites about the paper's history. Walter Alcock of Great Britain later developed toilet paper on a roll.

But it was in 1867, that brothers Thomas, Edward and Clarence Scott of Philadelphia were successful at marketing small rolls of perforated paper, the Web sites say. It was the beginning of the Scott Paper Co.

Worms On Rampage in Hong Kong Swimming Pools

HONG KONG (AP) — A spate of worm sightings in public swimming pools has forced several closures and police said last Thursday they have been called to investigate the case that's left Hong Kong feeling a bit squeamish.

The worms, actually mosquito larvae (search), don't pose a health threat but they have generated intense local media coverage including TV footage showing them wiggling in the water.

Worms have been found in three pools that have now been closed for cleaning, and police are trying to determine whether a crime has been committed.

The worm sightings emerged at the same time public pool lifeguards are locked in a wage dispute with the government, but the lifeguards have denied planting them.

Experts say swimming pools are not likely places for such worms to grow naturally.

"There may be a human factor in this," said Paul Cheung, a leisure and cultural services official.

It's Your Guardian Angel On the Line

SUMMERFORD, Ohio (AP) — A woman says her life was likely saved when she answered a hang-up phone call.

Mary Dhume was watching television last Monday night when the phone in the next room rang. She got up to answer it, but there was no one at the other end of the line.

Suddenly, she heard breaking glass and saw her living room wall collapse onto the chair where she'd been sitting.

A pickup truck had missed the curve on the road in front of Dhume's home and smashed into the century-old house. Dhume said she saw the driver run away as she dialed 911.

Three hours later, State Highway Patrol troopers arrested Carlos Cummings, 41, of Mechanicsburg, on a charge of failing to control a vehicle.

"The phone ringing at that particular time? That's one of those things people would never believe," Dhume said. "Maybe it was God calling to tell me to get out of my living room."

Compiled by's Paul Wagenseil.

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