Andy Warhol was almost right. In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes — but only because everyone in the future will have a reality show.
In fact, if the rate of relentless self-promoters with their own reality shows continues at the current, hectic pace, everyone on the planet may in fact have their own shows going at the same time — making it technically possible that no one will be home to watch anyone else's reality show.
Tuesday night, A&E begins "Dog The Bounty Hunter," (search) another show featuring people with an insatiable love of hair products. "Bounty Hunter" is about a man called Dog Chapman (search), who became famous when he captured felon-on-the-run/Max Factor heir Andrew Luster.
The astounding thing is that he should be hunted down himself — by the fashion police.
I'm talking about a mullet so out of date and badly conceived that it looks like it was cut by Ray Charles and dyed with melted Crayolas.
Billing himself as a bounty hunter, in reality Dog and his family are Hawaiian bail bonds "agents." They hunt down perps if they skip town or don't show up for court dates — leaving the bondsmen on the hook for the dough.
Trust me. It sounds a lot more interesting than it is.
For one thing, most of the desperados they hunt down aren't dangerous murderers (or at least not so far on the show) — just slobs who are too stoned to remember their court dates.
In episode one, we meet Dog's "team" and then watch them try to create excitement by arguing via walkie/talkie in their cars with each other. It's like being locked on the bus with loudmouths on cellphones.
Yes, Dog might be a real character, but listening to his bible-preaching and lectures about fatherhood while doting on his latest crop o' little children and his formerly estranged grown son smacks of phony.
At one point, the grown son even brags that he's the only one of Dog's 12 children who have graduated from high school. Not exactly Bill Cosby here.
But A&E isn't the only network obsessed with the fast paced, exciting life of badly coifed, suburban bail bondsmen this season. HBO has also jumped into the fray with "Family Bonds" (search) featuring a Long Island family of (I'm ashamed to say) Italian-American bail bonds "agents" who are even more vulgar, uneducated and tattoo-obsessed than the Chapmans.
I'm so-o-o sorry I complained about bad writing on TV. Please forgive me and bring it back.