Polar Opposites

What's the difference between Alan Greenspan (search) and Santa Claus? I'll tell you. None!

Yet to see all these senators tripping over themselves to praise the guy, you'd think Saint Al "was" Saint Nick. Newsflash: He's not!

Santa deserves the good press. I don't know about Al.

Santa's generous all the time. Alan's generous only some of the time.

When Santa screws up on a toy order, he makes good. When Alan screws up on a premature rate hike, he still acts like he's doing good.

Santa lives at the North Pole but doesn't mind the cold. Alan lives in Washington and just leaves me cold.

Santa's weapon of choice is a list -- he checks it twice. Alan's weapon of choice are interest rates -- he's been known to raise them more than twice.

Alan's overdone it in the past and boy did we pay. The worst you could say about Santa is he just made us "play."

Santa laughs. Alan never laughs.

Santa's a big guy. I like big guys. Alan's a thin guy. I get nervous around thin guys.

Santa says “Ho-ho.” Al's always saying “No-no.”

Santa speaks clearly. Asks, have you been good? Al never speaks clearly. Asks, have we been overly accommodative to crosswinds that are at odds with inflationary pressures building globally?


Not once have I heard Santa talk about headwinds when he's flying. That's all I hear out of Al when he and his gang are hiking.

I can understand sucking up to Santa. For the life of me, I cannot fathom sucking up to Al.

So I have an idea: Bring Santa to the Fed and ship Al to the North Pole.

I'd love to see how Santa deals with bureaucrats and how Al deals with elves.

Watch Neil Cavuto weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on "Your World with Cavuto."

Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.