To make her point, she hit the high notes, shimmy shimmy shook her bodacious bod, and reminded us she passed gas on national TV.
Yikes, she is real.
Unlike her blond colleague with the busted up knee, Simpson isn't a pop-tart temptress with high skirts and low-cut necklines. The image she projected is that of the wholesome newlywed next door who can sing, is awkward when she dances and is in love with her heartthrob hubby, Nick Lachey (search).
Rather than the typical all-song concert format, Simpson offered up a show that mixed tunes, video comedy skits and audience interaction in a Sonny & Cher (search) meets Carole Burnett hybrid.
How was the show?
Her singing was shrill in her upper register, but fine in the middle, particularly when she unhinged her lower jaw and opened her mouth wide. Although the I-can-eat-an-apple-whole look ain't a pretty sight, especially when she held a note for emphasis, you have to give her props for her pipes.
Even though she could have switched off the amplification and hit the back wall at the Music Hall with that big voice, Simpson was no match for the band, which crushed her with excessive volume. They often drowned her out on the upbeat pop melodies.
Vocally she fared much better during ballads, when the tempo was slowed and the band mellowed. The best of those was the mid-show rendering of "You Take My Breath Away."
Between songs the pre-recorded video jokes (featuring Lachey as Simpson's straight man) delighted the kids 'n' parents crowd. These dumb-funny one-liners could have been written for a George Burns/Gracie Allen (search) radio skit. Less successful were the question and answer sessions, which also peppered the show.
"Jessica, are you considering making movies?" one fan asked.
The obviously canned question allowed Simpson to lobby publicly for the role of Daisy in the upcoming "Dukes of Hazzard" (search) project. Most of the crowd cheered that notion — Simpson has the butt and the brains for the part — no sarcasm intended.
Despite playing the ditzy blonde, who dances like a pony and is as processed as "American Idol" cheese, Simpson has performance savvy that pleased the crowd and made the show a hit with them. She was even wise enough to have her husband, who was back stage, come out toss her over his shoulder and carry her off after the final encore, which, from the applause, delighted the fans of these newlyweds.