The real "Apprentice" winner, Jacko not going anywhere, "Bill" kills box office, magazine fails William Hung and Omarosa on the catwalk in today's Foxlight.

Think winning "The Apprentice" (search) means you've got it made? Think again. Bill may not have the prestigious job that Trump would have us believe. The New York Times says that Chicago skyscraper may never get off the ground. And if it does, Bill may just get coffee for the real people putting the project together. Meanwhile, Kwame has a lot more opportunities and may be the real winner -- he's the Clay Aiken of "The Apprentice."

From the stunning surprise department, Michael Jackson (searchwill not be heading to Africa anytime soon for AIDS awareness or any kind of awareness. Foxlight told you all along this was a publicity ruse and he doesn't currently have something called a passport.

"Kill Bill: Vol. 2" (search) ruled at the weekend box office. To paraphrase and update Letterman from a few years back, "Uma, Oscar. Oscar, Uma." Don't laugh -- at the very least a nomination could come outta this.

Best failing grade ever given by Entertainment Weekly? William Hung's (searchnew album gets an "F." A note, by the way, that I'm sure he murders on the album.

Finally, Omarosa (search) says she wants to do some fashion modeling. May I suggest a straightjacket?