The two storylines would each be enough to sustain their own episode on any other show, but on "The Osbournes," (search) they are both crammed into a single blockbuster half-hour.
Yes - "The Osbournes" is back, both literally and figuratively.
It's literally back tonight with its first new episode in six weeks. And it's back figuratively in the sense that the episode is a reminder of the qualities that made "The Osbournes" so special back in its first season in 2002.
When we last left them on Feb. 24, Ozzy Osbourne (search) had just had his near-fatal accident - when he was thrown from an all-terrain vehicle he was driving on his English estate.
The accident - in which Ozzy broke his left collarbone, eight ribs and a vertebra - delayed filming of "The Osbournes" for five weeks, resulting in the unusual six-week gap between new episodes smack in the middle of the third season.
In tonight's episode, titled "The English Patient," Ozzy checks out of an English hospital and continues his convalescence at his English home as he prepares to return to Los Angeles.
And in the show's other story unfolding back in L.A., his wife, Sharon, is becoming disillusioned with her talk show.
What happens next is a behind-the-scenes TV drama the public rarely, if ever, gets to witness.
The episode ends on a loving high note as Ozzy and Sharon are reunited in California. And there is no sign yet of the drama to come involving their daughter, Kelly, 19, who last Friday checked into a drug-treatment center in Malibu.
Sharon and Ozzy went public with Kelly's woes last Friday in a television interview demonstrating once again that for this family, a life lived out of the public eye is not a life worth living.