Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards (search) took his turn at late-night comedy Wednesday in hopes of building on his success in winning the South Carolina primary. Edwards taped an appearance on CBS' "Late Show with David Letterman" in which he presented the Top 10 list.
The last Democrat to deliver a Top 10 list was Howard Dean, who did so after a much-ridiculed concession speech in Iowa. Rep. Dick Gephardt (search) of Missouri read his Top 10 list a week before his poor showing in Iowa. After losing Jan. 19, Gephardt abandoned his presidential bid.
The subject of Edwards' list was: "Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate."
10. "Vote for me or I'll slash your tires."
9. "Forget universal health care — I'm buying every American an XBox."
8. "In a crisis, I ask myself, 'What would Tony Danza do?'"
7. "I'd give you my plan for economic recovery if I wasn't rip-stinkin' drunk."
6. "If your last name begins with 'M' through 'Z,' sorry — your taxes are doubling."
5. "We're gonna cut the deficit by selling North Dakota to Canada."
4. "I have tons of experience from being president of the Burt Reynolds Fan Club."
3. "Lady, that is one ugly baby."
2. "When I'm president, I'm putting Regis on Mount Rushmore."
1. "Read my lips: no new wardrobe malfunctions."