It sounds like the nation needs to call Jack Valenti (search) out of retirement to take over the NFL...

After all, who better than the man who invented the Motion Picture Rating System (search) to handle the Super Bowl and it's half-time show.

It's obvious the Super Bowl (search) and it's half-time show needs a rating. This past weekend's would have been NC-17, or perhaps even the full frontal adult rating.

It wasn't just Janet Jackson's (search) bare breast. It was also the so-called dance moves she and Justin Timberlake (search) were doing during their song.

It was also the patently unbelievable excuses offered by CBS, MTV and Timberlake himself — that there was a "costume malfunction." Come on.

What about the technical director in the CBS truck? He got off the bare breast shot so fast, he just had to know it was coming. And if he knew, then the director knew. And if the director knew, the producer knew... and that means CBS knew.

Even the Super Bowl commercials were a bit much — a flatulence joke, the crotch-biting dog and Cedric the Entertainer ending up with a bikini wax... where did he think he was, anyway? It was a massage parlor, wasn't it?

I'm telling you... Valenti is the answer. The Super Bowl must be rated before next year's. If we can't get a PG-rated show, can we all agree on one that is rated no higher than R?

That's My Word.

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