The feds are taking the Burger King radio pirate very seriously.

As we reported yesterday, some nasty evildoer discovered the wireless frequency that a Troy, Mich., Burger King franchise uses to talk to drive-through customers. He's been telling patrons in most unappetizing language that they're "too fat to eat Whoppers," among other insults.

Now the Federal Communications Commission has taken over the case, according to the Detroit Free Press.

The FCC might bring in its signal detection trucks, which are normally used to track down illicit radio stations. Federal law provides for stiff fines and jail time for those convicted of "willful or malicious" interference with radio communications, the newspaper said.

Readers wishing to experience the fast-food obscenities firsthand may not be able to have it their way. The drive-through prankster hasn't been heard from since Thursday.

Gator Rock Shocker Blocked

Louisville, Ky. clubgoers may be feeling a bit disappointed: A proposed nightclub has nixed its plans to put live alligators under the see-through dance floor.

"It was something that people were pretty adamant that they didn't want to see happening," Jackie Gulbe, a representative of Louisville Metro Animal Services (search), told the city's Courier-Journal newspaper.

Gulbe's group, local politicians and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (search) joined together to oppose the pit of hungry man-eating reptiles at the club, which is to be called Wet Willy's.

"In light of the controversy surrounding our plan to build an alligator habitat," read a letter from one of Wet Willy's developers to Louisville Metro Animal Services, "we have decided not to proceed with that plan."

Mark Abrams, representative for a local business association, was sympathetic to the nightclub builders.

"They're not herpetologists," he said. "They're bar owners."

Three Cheers for the Big Guy

Amazon.com employees must be feeling pretty comfortable with their boss.

Users visiting the site Monday who typed the phrase "old fart" into the product search field were whisked to a page displaying company founder and CEO Jeff Bezos (search) lookin' swingin' in an electric blue Austin Powers-style suit.

Under the picture was the explanation: "Happy 40th Birthday Jeff Bezos — January 12, 1964."

In case the search doesn't work anymore, here's the page for your enjoyment.

Fast Food Freebies for Sale

Would you like a collection of 129 packets of fast food condiments? They're yours for the buying on eBay.

A Phoenix man who says he needs to make ends meet after losing his job is giving up his assortment of ketchups and sauces from Taco Bell, Burger King, Jack in the Box and KFC. There's even a nice picture layout to help you decide.

The online auction ends Wednesday. As of Monday afternoon, the price for the collection was up to $12.50.

Legless Abductee Bites Kidnapper Where It Counts

GREENWICH, N.J. (AP) — A man who police say stole two snakes from a pet store was bitten by one of the reptiles as he drove home from the Franklin Township store.

The tiger python snakes were not poisonous, and the 20-year-old man, whom police declined to identify, did not seek medical treatment for the bite to his groin area.

Police said the man took the snakes last week, slipping them into canvas bags he had rigged in his pants pockets. As the man headed home, one of the snakes wriggled out of the bag, wrapped itself around his leg and bit him.

Police recovered the snakes from the man's home. Officers went there because the man had bought an iguana from the store the same day the snakes were stolen.

Wrong Number? Sorry. Got Any Drugs?

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (AP) — A woman seeking to buy crack cocaine called the wrong numbers, but still tried to buy the drug from people she had mistakenly called, police said.

Tara Jo Curtis, 29, was arrested Saturday at the No Name Lounge and released Sunday from the Bay County Jail under a $10,000 bond.

Someone reported the wrong number calls, and investigators arranged a controlled sale of fake crack, police said.

Curtis could not be reached for comment Monday. Court records did not indicate whether she had a lawyer.

No Indication Flipper Might Be Involved

PENSACOLA, Fla. (AP) — Thieves with a taste for shrimp, oysters and fish have been hitting Pensacola stores and restaurants, stealing at least $8,400 worth of seafood.

Gerard Patti discovered the latest theft Sunday at one of his Gulf Coast Fresh Seafood stores. He found a hole in the wall and up to $5,000 worth of fresh and frozen shrimp, grouper, scallops, flounder, red snapper and oysters missing.

The seafood had been hauled out by the case through a hole ripped in the metal building.

"All they left was a few sacks of oysters," Patti said. "I guess it weighed them down."

Talk About Dedicating Your Life to Golf

MIAMI (AP) — A man who lived on a golf course for 40 years was told to leave because some golfers complained that he scared them.

Kenny Bethel, 55, first showed up at Palmetto Golf Course after he ran away from home in 1963. He collected and resold stray golf balls, used the club's showers and toilets at night and slept in a sheltered area on the course that housed the showers.

"This course became my job and later, my home," he said. "What have I done to deserve this?"

For the last nine years, Bethel had been joined by his wife Francis, 43. They have since relocated to a space under a nearby bridge.

"It's a huge dilemma," said Carlos McKeon, manager of Miami-Dade County Golf Operations (search). "We used to cast a benign eye on Kenny. But when a few golfers complained that he's trespassing and it's against the law, we had to get him off."

Other golfers, who had become accustomed to seeing Bethel on the course, were surprised by his banishment.

"He's a nice guy," said golfer Mario Deif. "You have to admire someone who has debunked modern life and lives off the land."

Compiled by Foxnews.com's Paul Wagenseil.