Michael Jackson's (search) father admits he whacko-ed Jacko.(search)

The always reliable sound bite tells a British TV show he "whipped" his son, but didn't beat him. What's the difference? Here's the world according to Joe Jackson. And it's always a bizarre ride:

"I whipped him with a switch and a belt. I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick."

Uh-huh. That's apparently clarification in the elder Jackson's world for the repeated accusations by Michael that his father beat him. When asked about Michael's claim that he blows chunks at the mere mention of his father's name, Joltin' Joe shoots back, "He regurgitates all the way to the bank."

The senior Whacko Jacko refused to talk about his son's repeated visits to a plastic surgeon, but did lash out at gays. When the interviewer asks if Joe would be happier if his son had a "partner," he roars "What are you trying to say? That Michael's gay? We don't believe in gays. I can't stand them."

That's one less ticket Rosie O'Donnell (search) can hope to sell for her Boy George (search) musical. In New York, Bill McCuddy, Fox News. Time for me to beat it.