ACLU Hasn't A-C-L-U-E

Hey, get this...I want to talk about the ACLU (search) which, quite frankly, doesn’t have an A-C-L-U-E anymore.

The ACLU worked to postpone the California Recall, is fighting to get rid of public displays of the Ten Commandments, fighting against the Boy Scouts and for NAMBLA (search), the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Working to defend their rights! In short, on the wrong side of almost every issue. The American Civil Liberties Union is imploding and the wide array of life options it endorses seems to no longer include a belief in the traditional American way.

They have no use for common sense; they think it’s common. The big ACLU push during the holidays now is to get rid of public depictions of the Nativity Scene during Christmas. Yeah, that’s what’s wrong with the country, plastic depictions of Christ's birth. The ACLU has now degenerated to the point where they’ll fight against your right to erect a Nativity Scene but they’ll fight for the right of the local freak who stumbles into the scene and fondles one of the sheep.

Not that they’re always wrong. The ACLU is now helping to overturn a Mississippi state law that prohibits homosexual couples in that state from adopting children and I believe that is a fair-minded cause. But you know folks, while I’m not an expert on the subject, if you’re gay and you’ve chosen to set up shop in Mississippi, well even I’m reasonably sure that you’re not equipped to adopt children.

ACLU lawyers love to lounge around in the self-righteous ether until the 'atrocity alarm' goes off and then it’s down the fire pole, into their Bass Weejuns (search) and right out the door to provide immediate succor and aid to the worst humanity has to offer, gallingly, all in the name of humanity.

And they always bring up our forefathers and say they were civil libertarians. C’mon, our forefathers would have never tolerated any of this current-day crap. For God’s sake, they were blowin’ guys' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage! And it wasn’t even coffee! Imagine how nuts they would have been on a 4-shot espresso.

Let me get this straight. We don’t hate people who prey on children anymore? Did I miss a meeting? Well, if we’re not gonna go sling blade on predators just tell me cause if that’s the case I’m gonna go live in Alec Baldwinia.

Got that?