NEW YORK – So who's the dumb one? Jessica Simpson (search) says "platy-mu-pus" instead of "platypus" - but she certainly knows where to sign a deposit slip.
Just yesterday, the 23-year-old star of MTV's "Newlyweds" (search) announced a deal with Britney Spears' merchandising company that should net her more than $3 million in the next few months alone.
This week, she and her husband, Nick Lachey (search), will go into production on the second season of "Newlyweds," which hits the air in January.
And next week, she'll be on the cover of Rolling Stone, as a housewife in stiletto heels, holding a Swiffer.
Until this summer, the former gospel singer was just one of a dozen almost-famous Britney wannabes.
But on the heels of her hit TV show, she's the talk of Hollywood, and fortune is bound to follow.
"Ever since we announced the deal, the phone has been ringing off the hook from companies who want Jessica for endorsements."
A furniture company wants Simpson and her husband to endorse a line of chairs and tables for newlyweds.
A bank wants them for a newlywed credit card.
And there will most likely be cell phone covers, posters, calendars and T-shirts in time for the holidays - if the money's good enough.
"We don't recommend anything to Jessica unless it means at least a million net to her," says Furano, who is especially excited about a line of greeting cards that would feature the "wit and wisdom of Jessica Simpson."
It was Simpson's hilariously airheaded quotes, of course, that made "Newlyweds" the buzz show of the season.
In one episode, Lachey offered her some Buffalo wings, and she told him she didn't eat buffalo.
Of course, her most famous head-scratcher was that Chicken of the Sea quote.
"Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish?" she asked Lachey on one episode.
"I know it's tuna, but it says chicken. By the sea."
The quote became a favorite around water coolers and in Internet chat rooms after Simpson said it - and now that, too, is paying off.
Last week, Simpson met with Chicken of the Sea (search) managers at their San Diego headquarters, and even sang the company's old jingle, "Ask any mermaid you happen to see/ what's the best tuna, Chicken of the Sea."
Contrary to the rumors, Simpson has yet to sign as Chicken of the Sea's new spokesperson - although she'd like to.
"I reallOffers Roll in for Jessica SimpsonOffers Roll in for Jessica Simpsony want to be the mermaid on their can," she says. "You'd think they'd want that after their sales went up 10 percent."
For the moment, that's not likely, says Don George, the company's senior vice president for marketing, who instead attributes the recent spike in sales to "a quality control initiative."
"She's helped a great deal in introducing the brand to kids," he says, "but I don't think she'll be our spokesperson."
His hand may be forced, however, because Furano has been fielding calls from other tuna companies interested in signing Simpson.
"Two different companies have sent Jessica cases of tuna fish to try out," he says.
And Simpson admits her loyalty goes only so far.
"If Chicken of the Sea doesn't want me, I'll do Starkist," she says.
"I know tuna will be involved in there somewhere."