Simon Cowell, Yoko Ono, Madonna and 24

Simon Cowell, Yoko Ono, Madonna and 24 in The Foxlight.

It's now official, Simon is a jerk. On Tuesday's showdown instead of constructive digs he was just plain mean. He told Ruben -- dressed head to toe in leather -- that he understood why there was a cow shortage in California. Then he told Trenyce she looked like a drag queen. Ryan Seacrest finally got a funny line off when he asked how Simon knew so much about drag queens.

Double Fantasy album and has been remixed by some of music's top remixers. They must be so good they remixed all her vocals out of it.

So Madonna's new album American Life is No. 1? As's has already reported, her record company bought it by pricing the lackluster effort under $10. The question is whether or not Maddie had anything to do with the strategy, knowing the early end to the war could cause a Madonna backlash. Hey she changed the video.

Finally, 24 just gets better and better every week, Fox show or not. I knew the president's wife was an evil power hungry opportunist just using her husband for her own illicit gains. You think Bill Clinton watches this and goes "Doh!"