Oscar officials will give the hook to long-winded winners this year if they try to thank everyone from their parents to their personal trainers in their acceptance speeches.
Winners will be limited to thanking five people by name, and if they try to read from a scripted speech, officials promise the orchestra will strike up and rush them off the podium.
"These are harsh measures but necessary," said Gil Cates, producer of this year's awards.
"The list of names means nothing to 99.9 percent of the audience," he said.
"If you pull out a piece of paper and start to read a list, you're done, the music will go up," Cates warned.
The Motion Picture Academy already has a policy of limiting acceptance speeches to 45 seconds, part of a losing battle to move along a yawn-inducing program that has pushed the four-hour mark in recent years.
Two years ago, when Julia Roberts won the Best Actress award for Erin Brockovich, she ordered the orchestra leader to "put down that stick" when he moved to cut her short with a musical fanfare.
"I'm going to be here a while," she announced on the way to the longest acceptance speech in recent Oscar history -- four minutes.
At Monday's luncheon for nominees, Cates did not address concerns that left-leaning winners would turn the show into an anti-war rally. He did say that "if we are at war, the Oscar telecast will reflect that reality" -- while vowing that war or no war, "the show will go on."
Several nominees promised they wouldn't give political speeches if they win.
"I am the daughter of a Vietnam vet," said Queen Latifah, nominated for Best Supporting Actress for the musical Chicago.
"We've got to support our boys and girls over there."