I returned the other day from an incredible week off.

I attended my 25th college reunion, returned to my old graduate school and gave a talk in Grant County, Kentucky, the home for generations of both sides of my family.

I got pretty royal treatment too, as befits a minor media personality. I posed for pictures, signed an autograph or two and got to hear people share their enthusiasm for FOX News.

But then I returned home, and my heady adventure gave way to gruesome reality.

Consider this brochure for a charity auction at my daughter's school. Breakfast with Congressman Jim Moran, estimated value: priceless. Dinner with a local councilman, estimated value: priceless. A copy of a book by Senator Robert Byrd, estimated value: priceless. Another artifact contributed by Senator John Warner, estimated value: priceless. Lunch with Tony Snow, estimated value: $150.

And the look on my wife's face when she saw the brochure, doubled over, tears running down her cheeks, laughing so hard she couldn't talk: priceless.