Greta van Susteren recently joined the Fox News family as host of On the Record for Fox News Channel.

And as you may know, she undertook some cosmetic surgery before joining the network. 

The great thing about Greta is she's Greta — candid, funny and unapologetic. She's glad she had the work, and she looks great. 

Furthermore, the operation, it's generated amazing publicity — Good Morning America, The Today Show, the cover of People magazine. 

Well, that got me to thinking.

So today, I'm announcing that I, too, intend to go under the knife. Network image makers tell me I ought to get rid of the jowls beneath the jaw line and accentuate my eyes, which they say are a definite asset. 

They've even got a sketch. They say the new look is a blockbuster, worth not a million bucks, but $100 million. And they guarantee everybody will be watching and talking. 

Sounds good, but you decide.