Liz, Liza, Austin, Bond, and South Park

NEW YORK – Liz, Liza, Austin, Bond, and South Park in the animated color glow of The Foxlight.

Want to invite Liz Taylor to your wedding, anniversary or Bar Mitzvah? Send a private plane. That was Liz's answer to good friend Liza Minnelli.

Taylor wants a private plane to fly her and her entourage to the wedding — or she may not be Minnelli's matron of honor. She needs room for a hairdresser, masseuse, secretary and seven others. Taylor also is requesting luxury accommodations for them all.

Austin Powers may still have his mojo but he can forget making fun of James Bond. For months now we've been hearing the new Mike Myers comedy was going to be called Goldmember, obviously after the James Bond film Goldfinger. Now the people who own 007 are upset. They're screaming cease and desist. C'mon, can't James Bond take a joke? Or have the Bond movies become so laughable that MGM considers this competition?

Finally, congratulations to South Park, the most raunchy show on television. That's the conclusion of the Parents Television Council, which rates basic cable programs in a new report. More sex, profanity and violence than any other show. More than Maury? Or Jerry?